Eventually [#Wattys2015][h.s.]

Preface

I couldn't believe it.

My hands covered my face, my mind still trying to process what just happened. My face and palms of my hands became damp, my tears blurring my vision. I sniffled and tried to take deep breaths, but my breaths came out shaky, only worsening my emotional state.

"Serena.." Harry spoke softly, his hand touching my forearm lightly.

"Get the hell away from me!" I screamed, standing up from the couch in the room and pacing away from him. I can't bare to look at him with his mesmerizing smile, his dimples, his eyes.

Not after everything.

"Serena, please believe me." Harry begged and I kept myself facing away, my fists clenched besides my skirt. I could hear his footsteps come after and they echoed in my mind. One by one, they got louder and with every step, the disgust I have for him now inside of me only grew stronger.

I can't take it any longer.

"No!" I screamed, turning around to face him and he took a step back in surprise. "How could you?! After everything we've been through?"

I sobbed, backing away from him before he could say anything. I immediately turned around, hurrying into his room to rummage through the drawers of his dresser.

"Serena, what the hell are you doing?" Harry's voice sounded out from the living room.

My throat felt like it was closing up from crying so much and my vision was still blinded by my tears as I angrily searched through his things.

My hands finally felt something small and hard between the holdings of his black t-shirts. I picked it up. I unraveled where I found it and discovered them. 

All of them. So many of them, I thought. So many damn copies.

I slowly made my way back to Harry, keeping distance between us two.

"I was looking for these." I seethed, holding the tapes in my hands.

Harry eyes filled with uncertainty as he watched me grasping the tapes in my hands so hard, that I actually began to bleed. His eyes noticed my hands were bleeding when the drops of red dripped from my hands to the floor, creating a small pool of blood besides my feet.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Harry?" I spoke, my voice shaking with fury.

Harry opened his mouth, but I cut him off.

"What do you have to say for yourself?!" I screamed, the walls I attempted to build to contain my control broke down instantly as I threw the tapes down, viciously stomping on them.

Harry's mouth was set in a frown, his vivid green eyes searching me. He was carefully observing my behavior while I yelled out in fury, bashing on the tapes with my feet.

Harry didn't try to touch me this time or speak to me. He just stood there to watch me, seeming like he had no idea what to do. I'm sure he didn't.

"How could you?" I sobbed, tearing apart the tapes, one by one. I struggled with the third tape, the film refusing to rip in half. 

This damn tape!

"Serena, calm down." Harry cautiously took a few steps closer to me, thinking that maybe his presence will make everything better. It won't, it only made things more destructive.

"Get out." I sobbed as I finally was able to rip apart the third tape. I proceeded with the other tapes, picking them up off the ground after I stomped on them and yanking out the plastic film inside. My tears fell onto the film, the water droplets stained the film roll while I tore it apart.

"I-"

"Get out!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my blood rushing through my veins and the tears stinging my eyes. I dropped the tapes onto the floor. My eyebrows furrowed together with my head lowered down, my eyes looking up to pierce into Harry's.

I fell onto the floor while at that moment Harry's footsteps quietly faded away after he walked out the front door. 

My sobs muffled my ears, my throat closing up while my body laid down on the hard, wood floor. My arm clutched my stomach, feeling a shockwave of pain that constant crying and exhaustion from screaming had brought to my body. 

I hate myself. I hate myself for loving Harry, but more importantly, I hate him. I hate him with a burning passion. 

My arms moved to cover my face with my back to the ground, my figure swimming in a pool of black film until I could bring myself up to pick apart more of the tapes that haunted my thoughts and dreams.