Rambling (Spencer X OC)

Greif.

     My eyes imidiately started pouring. Penelope also began crying hard, while JJ tried to keep it together. What did he do? Why didn't he tell me he was leaving? I wanted to lay in bed for days. My mind and body felt numb. I tried to speak but my I felt as if there was barbed wire wrapped around my throat. Spencer, the love of my life, the sweetest man I've ever met, dead.
     It's been three days since the news. Three days since I've gotten out of Spencer's bed. Three days since I've allowed for any social interactions. People have stopped by, leaving gift baskets, and speaking through the door, but I couldn't be bothered. The love of my life was gone. Being with Spencer was like a dream, but now I just felt like an insomniac. I could smell his cologne on the bed. I could feel the slight indent where he always laid. I kept trying to persuade him into getting a new bed, but he just wouldn't. I'm beyond thankful for that. His dirty dishes were still in the dishwasher, his books still in piles on the floor, his mug filled with coffee still on the coffee stand. I couldn't bring myself to change a single thing. Part of me hoped Spencer was going to round the corner any moment to say it was a sick and twisted prank. I got up to move to the couch where most of his time was spent. I grabbed his cologne from the bathroom before making my way to the living room. However, I heard Penelope's voice through the door.
     "Mylah, I brought you some food. We miss you." I didn't respond. I felt choked on my own sorrows. "Can you knock twice so we know you're still alive in there?" She asked politely. I gave two faint knocks on the floor, as I sat down on it. I didn't even bother with the couch anymore. I was so lost without him. All the things I imagine for us were now just fragments of a dream I can never recover from. No more home, no more late night love confessions, no more seeing his smile. No more pouty eyes when he teased me.
     "Mylah. Open the door, kid." Derek said firmly. I didn't. I couldn't. "I'm coming in." He twisted the knob and entered, holding a fast food bag. He sat down on the floor beside me, gently nudging me with his shoulder. "Look.", he started, pausing to find the right words. "I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. Trust me, I do, bur you still have to take care of yourself. That kind of love comes once in a lifetime, so cherish that you experienced it. Some people never get that. Just because his life ended, doesn't mean yours has to." I couldn't force back the sobs anymore. Decked pulled me into a hug, gently rubbing my back. Penelope had to make her way to the hallway in hopes to hide her sobs from me, but I knew her to well. She's too soft for this world.
     After a while of sobbing Derek pulled back, looking directly at me. "Mylah, I need you to eat. This is serious. You look pale and sickly, and we are all worried sick. We brought you a million different things to pick from."
     "I can't." I mumbled dryly. "I feel sick."
     "I know you do, but I also know food is energy, and you need that right now." He handed me the large bag the was filled with wrapped goodies and small boxes of different foods. I grabbed a small box containing Mac n cheese. Comfort food probably wasn't the best when it came to me getting vitamins and nutrients, but it was the most comforting food in there. I couldn't even finish it. Thoughts of Spencer rushed back to me. I had every inch of his face burned deep into my brain. The sight of his smile revealing his dimples as his deep brown eyes looked into mine, ruined me. My heart wasn't broken or shattered, it was dead. He was my everything, now I was left as nothing but a barely healthy body.
     This time I didn't sob. I had cried for the past three days, not stopping until i crashed. I wanted revenge. I would atop at nothing to make sure I had it. I took a deep breath and grabbed a chicken salad fron the box. I was going to kick someone's ass, so I needed some protein  and some other nutrients. Whoever did this, was already dead, they just didn't know it yet. "Wow, something really got you motivated, care to share?" Derek requested.
     "Spencer wouldn't want me to not eat. He'd be pissed if he knew I went three days without eating." I lied.
     "Yeah, he really loved you, kid." I nodded sadly as I finished up my food. Eventually Penelope came back, and Derek spoke up. "We're staying here tonight. I don't want you to be alone for too long. You can't keep going on like this. It isn't healthy." No, Morgan. I have to leave tonight and I know you'll try to stop me. You have to go.
     "That's sweet, really, but I really don't need you to go through all that trouble for me. I'm doing better, really." I said with a fake smile.
     "I'm a profiler. I know you're lying. I'm staying here, no buts." He said firmly. "I have an airmatress in my car. I figured you wouldn't want me messing up the bed or the couch. I get it."
     "Thanks, Morgan." I knew I could sneak out. I'd just have to be perfectly smart about it. I was already devizing a fool proof plan. They didn't know it yet, but I was going to be in Mexico the second I got the chance.
     Midnight crept up on me like a stalker in the shadows. Darkness fell over the city and the chilly air made goosebumps rise on my arms. I threw on one of Spencer's jackets, and some sweats. I then laced up my sneakers, and added a spray of his cologne. I carefully snuck through the living room, not making a single noise. Derek was dead asleep, and I didn't dare test whether he was a light sleeper or not. Once I finally got to my car, I knew my plan was set. I was finding the person who killed Spencer, and I was killing him myself. I found myself with a last minute ticket to Mexico, at the airport with hardly anything on me. Seven hours until the search began.
    I slept almost the entire flight. Derek was probably just waking up, if he was even awake yet, which meant I'd have atleast an eight hour advantage on them if they decided to get on the jet and come looking for me. I was sure they would, especially because my dad was most likely going to kill me for this. I had enough cash saved up to be able to live comfortably for a while, so I didn't have to rush, but I wasn't going to stop until this mystery person's blood was on my hands.