Beneath the Shadows

Cracks in the Facade

The days following their second encounter felt like a never-ending cycle of confusion for Beam. Every time he tried to get back to his usual rhythm—his typical casual, flirtatious routine—Forth kept appearing in his mind like an unwelcome distraction. It wasn’t that Beam didn’t know how to handle distractions. After all, he had always been the guy who could juggle multiple interests and relationships without ever letting anyone get too close. But with Forth, it was different. There was something about him that made Beam feel... exposed. Unsettled.

The problem was, Beam wasn’t used to this feeling. He wasn’t used to not being in control of the situation. And he certainly wasn’t used to someone like Forth, who seemed to see right through him. Forth wasn’t like the others—he wasn’t looking to play games or play along with Beam’s carefully crafted persona. There was no pretending with Forth. And that scared Beam in a way he wasn’t ready to admit.

But then, just when Beam thought he might be able to avoid it, Forth showed up again.

It was late afternoon, and Beam was sitting on the steps near the campus quad, sipping on an iced coffee and trying to focus on his phone. He had a test coming up, and as usual, he was procrastinating, avoiding studying by scrolling through social media. He barely noticed Forth until the sound of footsteps interrupted his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Forth walking toward him, his usual confident stride turning into a more casual approach when he saw Beam sitting alone.

"Mind if I join you?" Forth asked, his voice as smooth as always, but with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. Beam couldn’t decide whether he was annoyed or intrigued by Forth’s presence.

“Didn’t think you were the type to hang out here,” Beam replied, gesturing vaguely to the stone steps. It was where most of the medical students gathered, away from the more intense vibe of the engineering faculty.

Forth grinned, sitting down beside him without waiting for an invitation. “I’m not, but it seems like you are. Thought I’d see what all the fuss is about.”

Beam couldn’t help but feel a little tension at Forth’s easygoing attitude. He’d never been one to shy away from being the center of attention, but when it came to Forth, something in the air always felt charged, like every word was heavy with unspoken meaning.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Forth said casually, as if it were a simple observation, but Beam felt the weight of it. There was something deliberate about the way Forth had phrased it, as if he was trying to force Beam into an uncomfortable space.

Beam tried to keep his cool, leaning back against the stone and taking another sip of his coffee. “I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been busy, you know?”

Forth raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Busy with what? Your endless parade of one-night stands?”

Beam bristled at the remark, though he quickly masked it with a forced smile. “What’s it to you?”

Forth chuckled, a low sound that sent a strange shiver down Beam’s spine. “Nothing at all. Just curious. You’re always so… detached, like nothing ever matters. But I don’t buy it.”

“Why? Because you think you’re the only one who can see through me?” Beam snapped before he could stop himself. “I’m not some puzzle for you to figure out, Forth. Get that straight.”

For a moment, there was a dangerous silence between them. Forth didn’t flinch at Beam’s outburst. He simply studied him, his expression thoughtful. “Maybe not. But you’re not as good at hiding things as you think.”

Beam opened his mouth to retort, but the words wouldn’t come. Something in Forth’s voice made him stop, made him hesitate. Beam had spent so long carefully constructing his persona—this perfect, unattainable guy who never got attached—but for the first time, it felt like Forth was exposing the cracks in that facade.

Forth’s eyes softened slightly. “Look, I’m not trying to push you into something you’re not ready for. I just... I don’t know. I don’t get you, Beam. I don’t get why you act like everything’s fine when I can tell you’re not.”

Beam’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t used to people seeing through him, especially not someone like Forth. But Forth wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t intimidated by Beam’s bravado. And that unsettled him more than he cared to admit.

“I’m fine,” Beam said, though the words tasted like ash in his mouth. He wasn’t fine. He hadn’t been fine since that first night with Forth. He hadn’t been fine since Forth had walked away from him with that unreadable look in his eyes.

Forth didn’t reply immediately. He just stared at Beam for a moment, his gaze searching, like he was trying to decide what to say next. Finally, he spoke again, his voice quieter now.

“I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not even sure I want one.” He paused, as if trying to gather his thoughts. “But you’re not like the others, Beam. You’re not easy to forget.”

Beam’s chest tightened at Forth’s words. He wasn’t sure what he expected to hear, but that certainly wasn’t it. He opened his mouth to say something—anything—but the words caught in his throat. For the first time in a long while, Beam didn’t know what to say.

The silence between them stretched long, uncomfortable, as if they were both waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, Beam stood up abruptly, the tension in his muscles tight and painful.

“I should go,” he muttered, before turning away quickly. He didn’t look back, even though he could feel Forth’s eyes on him, watching him leave.

As Beam walked away, a strange, unfamiliar feeling gnawed at him. Forth’s words echoed in his head, and for the first time in a long while, Beam felt like maybe—just maybe—he didn’t have all the answers. Maybe there was something more between him and Forth, something that couldn’t be ignored, no matter how hard he tried.

But Beam wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet.

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### The Uncertainty Between Them

Days passed, and Beam continued to go through the motions of his usual life. He spent time with Phana and Kit, went to class, and partied on weekends, all while trying to ignore the growing sense of discomfort that had settled in the pit of his stomach.

The encounter with Forth kept replaying in his mind. Every word, every glance, every moment they had shared—it haunted him in a way he couldn’t explain. But he wasn’t ready to admit it. Not to himself, and certainly not to Forth.

And then, one evening, he found himself in a familiar place—a party at one of the engineering students’ apartments. The music was loud, the alcohol was flowing freely, and everything felt the same as it always did. But as Beam made his way through the crowd, his gaze landed on one person standing near the window: Forth.

Forth wasn’t talking to anyone. He wasn’t surrounded by people like he usually was. Instead, he was standing there, looking out into the night, alone. Something about the sight of him made Beam’s heart beat a little faster.

Against his better judgment, Beam made his way toward Forth. This time, he wasn’t running away. He wasn’t hiding behind his usual defenses. For once, Beam wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he knew he couldn’t avoid Forth any longer.

As he approached, Forth turned slightly, noticing him. The corners of his lips quirked up in a small, knowing smile.

“You came,” Forth said, his voice low.

“Yeah,” Beam replied, standing beside him. “I guess I did.”

They stood in silence for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. The tension that had built between them was thick in the air, but there was something else there now, too. Something that neither of them could quite explain.

For the first time, Beam wasn’t afraid to look at Forth. And when their eyes met, something passed between them—something neither of them was ready to name.

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