Beneath the Shadows

Unraveling the Past

The early morning sunlight filtered through the blinds of Beam’s dorm room, casting soft, golden streaks across the room. He sat on the edge of his bed, looking at his phone in his hand but not really seeing it. His thoughts were far away, replaying the events of the past few weeks in his mind—each conversation, each moment with Forth.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he was changing. It wasn’t just about being with Forth—it was about what Forth had done to him. The walls Beam had built up around himself were slowly crumbling, one brick at a time. He wasn’t used to this—he wasn’t used to letting someone in, especially not someone like Forth, who had a life that was so different from his.

Beam’s life had never been simple. Raised by his single mother after his father walked out when he was just 13, Beam had learned early on that the only person he could rely on was himself. His mother, a successful lawyer, worked long hours to provide for them, and Beam had always been the independent, self-sufficient son. He had lived in the ninth building dorms on campus, away from her, for years, and despite his outgoing, flirtatious nature, he had never really let anyone get close enough to see the real him.

Forth, on the other hand, had grown up in a completely different world. His father, a successful businessman with a sprawling international company, had always provided everything Forth could have possibly wanted. His mother was beautiful and diligent, a perfect housewife who ensured the family’s every need was met. He had a brother, Earth, an engineer, who had followed in their father’s footsteps. Forth had always been the king of the engineering faculty, admired and feared by his peers. He had a reputation—a status that Beam had always been aware of.

But when they had first met, when their worlds had collided that fateful night, they were nothing more than two people who had wanted nothing more than a fleeting, one-night escape from the lives they had been living. What neither of them had expected was how much their encounter would change everything. Now, their connection ran deeper than just physical attraction. They had found a bond that neither of them could deny, but the weight of their pasts—the baggage they carried—was becoming harder to ignore.

The sound of his phone vibrating broke Beam from his thoughts. He glanced at the screen, seeing Forth’s name flashing.

"Morning," Beam texted, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. "You up?"

The response came almost immediately: "Yeah, what’s up?"

Beam smiled to himself, feeling that familiar rush of excitement whenever Forth’s messages popped up. It had become a routine—morning texts, quick chats between classes, moments stolen when they could, always eager to connect. But Beam knew that things couldn’t stay simple forever.

---

A few hours later, they met up in one of their usual spots—a quiet corner of the campus library, hidden away from prying eyes. Forth was already there, sitting with a coffee in front of him, his arms crossed as he stared intently at his laptop. The sight of him, so serious and focused, made Beam’s chest tighten.

Forth looked up when Beam walked in, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Hey,” he said softly.

Beam returned the smile, sliding into the chair across from him. “Hey. You look like you’re about to solve the mysteries of the universe over there,” he teased, nodding at the screen.

Forth chuckled. “Nah, just trying to finish some work. But I needed a break. I figured you’d show up soon.”

Beam leaned back in his chair, his arms stretching above his head. “Yeah, I was trying to avoid my assignments too. You know how it is.”

The air between them was easy, comfortable, but there was an unspoken tension beneath the surface. They had never really addressed the full scope of their relationship—what they were, what this was, what they were heading toward. It had always been about the moments, the small stolen pieces of time. But Beam knew that they couldn’t keep pretending like everything was fine forever.

He took a deep breath, setting his own coffee cup down. “Forth, we need to talk,” he said, his voice serious.

Forth’s smile faltered, his brow furrowing slightly. “Talk about what?”

“About this,” Beam motioned between the two of them, his gaze holding Forth’s. “About… what’s happening here. Between us.”

Forth sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had known this conversation was coming, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. “I thought we already knew what was happening,” he said carefully. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together, talking, getting to know each other. I thought things were good.”

“They are,” Beam said quickly, leaning forward. “But I’m not an idiot. This can’t just be some fling. It can’t just be about sex, or about distraction. I’ve been thinking about us, and I’m realizing that maybe… maybe I’m falling for you.”

Forth’s heart skipped a beat. He had known he felt something for Beam, something he hadn’t been able to explain, but hearing Beam say the words out loud… it made everything feel too real, too terrifying.

“Beam, I…” Forth started, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. “I don’t know what I’m doing either. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been… in something like this.”

Beam swallowed hard, the vulnerability in Forth’s voice pulling at something deep within him. He had always been the one to hold people at arm’s length, the one to keep things light, to keep things easy. But Forth had changed that. And now, he was faced with the reality of his own feelings.

“I’m not asking for an answer right now,” Beam said, his voice quieter now. “I just need to know if we’re on the same page. If we’re both willing to see where this goes, to really… give it a chance.”

Forth was silent for a long moment, his gaze never leaving Beam’s. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” he finally admitted. “But I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose you, Beam.”

The words hung in the air between them, heavy with meaning.

For the first time in a long time, Beam felt like he wasn’t alone in his uncertainty. Forth wasn’t ready to fully dive in, and that scared Beam, but there was something about the way he said it—something in the way he didn’t want to lose him—that made Beam believe in it.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Beam replied, his voice thick with emotion.

For the first time since they had met, Beam and Forth didn’t have the answers. But they had each other. And that was a start.

---

Tbc