Beneath the Shadows

The Walls Between Us

The following week passed in a haze of conflicting emotions for Beam. It had been days since the party, and despite the strange sense of calm that had settled between him and Forth, Beam couldn’t shake the feeling that things were becoming more complicated with every passing moment.

It wasn’t just that he was still unsure about what to make of Forth—it was more than that. It was the fact that, for the first time in years, Beam was starting to care. And that scared him more than anything. He wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable, and he definitely wasn’t used to feeling this much for someone.

The entire situation had caught him off guard. Forth was everything Beam wasn’t—calm, collected, and somehow sure of himself in ways Beam couldn’t quite comprehend. And yet, here they were, standing on some kind of strange precipice between them, both of them unsure of whether to step forward or turn back.

Beam had tried to keep his distance, but every time Forth appeared, something inside him couldn’t resist the pull. It was more than just attraction—it was this need to understand him, to figure out what made Forth tick.

On Thursday evening, Beam found himself pacing in his dorm room, nervously checking his phone every few minutes. Forth had messaged him again, asking if he wanted to hang out. At first, Beam had been dismissive, telling himself he was fine being alone. But now, the thought of turning Forth down felt unbearable. He had no idea why he cared so much. He shouldn’t care. But, at the same time, he didn’t know how to stop caring.

He had to admit that there was something about Forth that made him feel alive in a way that no one else did. His presence was intoxicating, and Beam couldn’t help but crave it.

Taking a deep breath, Beam grabbed his jacket and headed out of his room. The moment he stepped outside, the cool evening air hit him, but it did little to calm his racing thoughts.

As he made his way to the café Forth had suggested, Beam found himself questioning everything. Was this the beginning of something? Or was this just another fleeting moment that would pass, leaving him with nothing but confusion and regret? Beam didn’t want to get his hopes up, but deep down, he was starting to want more.

When Beam arrived at the café, Forth was already waiting for him, sitting in the corner booth, a cup of coffee in front of him. He looked relaxed, his usual smirk replaced with a more thoughtful expression as he glanced up to see Beam walk in.

“Hey,” Forth greeted, his voice surprisingly soft.

Beam smiled awkwardly, suddenly feeling out of place. “Hey,” he replied, sliding into the booth across from Forth.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence between them was comfortable, but there was also an unspoken tension in the air, as if both were waiting for the other to say something important.

Finally, Forth broke the silence. “You’ve been acting strange lately,” he observed, his eyes narrowing slightly, as if trying to read Beam’s thoughts.

Beam shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“You always have a lot on your mind,” Forth said with a knowing smile. “But it’s different now. What’s going on?”

Beam met his gaze, hesitating for a moment. He wasn’t used to opening up like this, especially not to someone like Forth. But something about the way Forth looked at him made him feel like he could be honest, even if it scared him.

“I don’t know what’s going on, honestly,” Beam admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I keep telling myself that I’m fine. That I don’t need anyone. But whenever you show up, it’s like everything I’ve built just... crumbles. And I don’t know why. It’s frustrating.”

Forth leaned back in his seat, his expression unreadable. “You’re scared,” he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Beam felt a jolt in his chest. He opened his mouth to deny it, but the words didn’t come. Instead, he nodded, unable to argue with the truth that Forth had just laid bare.

“I don’t like being scared,” Beam muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Forth’s gaze softened, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. “I get it. You’ve spent your whole life building walls around yourself. You don’t let people in. But it doesn’t have to be like that, Beam.”

Beam looked up at Forth, meeting his gaze. There was something about the way Forth spoke—something genuine and steady—that made him feel like he could trust him. The idea of letting go of everything he had controlled for so long terrified him, but in that moment, Beam found himself considering the possibility. What would it be like to stop fighting? What would it be like to let someone in?

“I don’t know how,” Beam admitted, his voice raw with emotion. “I don’t know how to let go.”

“You don’t have to have all the answers,” Forth said softly, his eyes never leaving Beam’s. “You just have to take it one step at a time. I’m not asking you to change overnight. I’m just asking for a chance.”

Beam swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in his throat. He wasn’t used to feeling this exposed, this vulnerable, but Forth was right. He couldn’t keep running from what was happening between them. Maybe it was messy. Maybe it didn’t make sense. But in that moment, Beam realized he didn’t need all the answers. He just needed to stop being afraid.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for all of this,” Beam confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “But... maybe I’m ready to try.”

Forth’s lips curved into a slow, reassuring smile. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

For the rest of the evening, they sat in the quiet café, talking about everything and nothing at all. The conversation flowed easily between them, and for the first time in a long time, Beam felt like he was exactly where he was meant to be.

As the night came to a close, Forth stood up, stretching his arms above his head. “You’re still a pain in the ass, you know that?” he said, grinning down at Beam.

Beam rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “You’re not so great yourself.”

“I know,” Forth replied with a wink. “But I’m willing to be a pain if it means you’re willing to let me in.”

Beam didn’t have an answer, but he didn’t need one. Not yet. Maybe he wasn’t ready for all of it, but for the first time in a long time, Beam felt like he was ready to face whatever came next.

As they left the café together, Beam glanced over at Forth, his heart pounding in his chest. They weren’t there yet. But maybe, just maybe, they were getting closer.

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Tbc