Big Sleep

Chapter 7: Lost in the Big Sleep

Nelson stood by the window again, the storm from the night before having passed, leaving a quiet, eerie calm in its wake. The rain had stopped, but the air felt thick with something heavier, something unresolved.

He hadn’t meant to talk out loud, but the words slipped from his lips anyway.

“Where are you now, Amanda? Are you out there, somewhere, drifting in the big sleep?”

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but there was a desperation in it, a longing he couldn’t silence. He had caught himself talking to her like this before—saying her name out loud as if she could hear him, as if she was still there, waiting to wake up. He knew it was foolish, but it had become an almost reflexive act.

He missed her so much. He missed the woman who had shared his life, the woman who had once laughed with him, held his hand, dreamed with him.

But now... now, everything was fractured. Amanda was gone. The woman who had returned after the accident wasn’t her. She was a stranger wearing her skin.

Nelson closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the cool glass of the window. His mind raced with thoughts of her—thoughts of the days when they were inseparable, when they had been so in tune with each other that it felt like they shared the same soul.

But now?

Now, there was nothing but silence. He couldn’t reach her. He couldn’t connect with her. It was as though a wall had risen between them, a wall made of grief, confusion, and the hollow echo of what once was.

“So where did you go?” he asked, his voice barely audible over the sound of the wind rustling through the trees outside. “Where did you disappear to? What happened to you?”

He wasn’t expecting an answer, but he couldn’t stop himself. The questions tumbled out, faster than he could process them.

“Are you drifting somewhere, lost in the wilds of whatever world you're in? Is this where you are now? A place where I can’t reach you? A place where we can’t even talk to each other anymore?”

The words felt bitter, but they were the truth. He had tried everything to communicate with her. He had tried to reach out, to find some trace of the woman he had loved. But no matter how hard he tried, the connection between them had been severed. It was as if she had vanished, as if the Amanda he had known had left this world entirely, and only a hollow shell remained.

"Communication lost," Nelson muttered bitterly to himself. "That’s what it feels like. Like I’m shouting into an empty void, and you’re never going to hear me."

He paused, letting the weight of his words settle over him. It was a cruel truth to face, but it was the truth nonetheless. There was no way to reach her anymore. No way to bring her back.

But he refused to give up, even if it seemed hopeless.

“Maybe you’re just waiting,” he said quietly, almost as if to himself. “Maybe you're out there, waiting for the right moment to come back. Or maybe... maybe this is who you are now. Maybe you’re lost, and I can’t find you anymore.”

The silence stretched on, deep and consuming. The room felt colder now, the air thicker. Nelson turned away from the window and sat down on the couch, burying his face in his hands. The room was still, save for the faint ticking of the clock on the wall.

How long had it been since he had truly spoken to her? Since they had shared a conversation, a connection that wasn’t tainted by the distance between them? It felt like a lifetime ago.

His thoughts wandered, torn between the memories of who they had been and the harsh reality of who they were now. He couldn’t stop asking himself:

Was there any chance of bringing her back? Was there any hope of reawakening the woman who had been his world?

But the truth, as painful as it was, whispered in his ear. There was no way to know. No way to reach her.

And all he had left were memories. Memories that were slowly fading, like footprints in the sand washed away by the tide. Memories that felt like they belonged to someone else.

He looked at the phone on the coffee table, the screen dark and silent. The phone that had once been filled with texts, pictures, and conversations. Now it was a void, like everything else.

There was no message from Amanda. No sign of her. No sign of the person she used to be.

"Where are you?" he whispered again, the words more of a plea than a question. "Where are you now, Amanda?"

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