Big Sleep

Chapter 3: The Weight of the Past

Days had turned into weeks, and the distance between Amanda and Nelson had grown wider with each passing moment. What had once been a close-knit bond now felt strained, fragile, as if the connection that held them together was slowly unraveling.

Amanda spent most of her time in the bedroom, staring out the window or lying in bed, her thoughts distant, lost. Nelson, unsure of how to bridge the gap, found himself retreating to his own thoughts more and more. He missed her—the real her. The woman who used to laugh easily, who could fill a room with her presence, whose love had once been the one constant in his life.

At night, when he lay awake beside her, he felt like a stranger in his own bed. Her back was always turned to him, and the silence between them felt heavier than the weight of the world. He had tried to reach out, tried to comfort her, but it was like trying to hold onto sand—no matter how tightly he grasped, it always slipped away.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Nelson found himself sitting alone in the living room, the house unusually quiet. The girls were at a friend’s house, and Amanda hadn’t emerged from their bedroom all day. He flipped through an old photo album, his fingers tracing the familiar pictures of their younger days—of their wedding, their first home, the early years with Lily and Ava.

The memories hit him like a wave, drowning him in a flood of emotion.

There they were, Amanda and Nelson, so young, so full of life. They had been on top of the world back then, inseparable, their love the kind of fairytale everyone dreamed of. There were photos of them laughing at a beach, arms wrapped around each other, their smiles wide and carefree. Another one of them on a hiking trip, with Amanda, in her element, her hair wild from the wind, her eyes sparkling as she turned to him, her hand outstretched. The world had felt limitless, full of promise, and he had believed their love would conquer anything.

He remembered the nights when they’d stay up late talking about their future, imagining a life that was all theirs—just the two of them, taking on the world together. They had been so sure of each other, so confident that their love would last forever.

But now, that confidence seemed like a distant dream, something that belonged to a time that no longer existed. The woman he had once known so completely was slipping away, and he couldn’t stop it.

Nelson closed the photo album, his heart heavy. He couldn’t help but wonder if the Amanda he had loved so deeply, the one who had been his everything, was gone forever.

He stood up and walked to the window, staring out at the darkening sky. He could hear the distant sound of the girls laughing outside, and for a moment, he closed his eyes, letting the sound wash over him. It was a reminder of the life they had built together—the life he still wanted to hold on to, the life that seemed to be fading like the sunset outside.

When had it all changed? When had the world become so much harder to navigate? He wanted to blame the accident, to believe that it was the cause of all this, but deep down, he knew it wasn’t just that. Something deeper had shifted, something he couldn’t put his finger on.

The door creaked open behind him, and he turned to find Amanda standing in the doorway, her posture stiff and uncertain.

“Nelson,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

His heart caught in his chest as he met her eyes. There was no warmth there, no spark, just a deep, unsettling emptiness. She looked at him, as though she were searching for something—something that used to be there, but wasn’t anymore.

“I don’t know either,” Nelson replied, his voice thick with emotion. “But I’ll be here, Amanda. I’m not giving up on us. I don’t know what’s going on, but I want to find a way back to what we had.”

She shook her head slowly, her eyes filled with sorrow. “I don’t know if I can go back. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

The words hit him like a blow. He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her, but the distance between them felt insurmountable.

“Amanda, please,” he begged, his voice cracking. “You’re still the woman I fell in love with. I remember you—our first date, our wedding, our first house. I remember how we laughed for hours, how you looked at me like I was the only person in the world. You are still that person, and I know we can find our way back to each other.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and for a moment, she seemed to waver, as though his words were reaching her. But then she turned away, her shoulders sagging as she walked back toward the bedroom, her footsteps heavy.

Nelson stood there, frozen, his heart breaking. He wanted to hold onto the memories, to the life they had shared, but it was becoming clear that those memories were all he had left. He didn’t know how much longer he could wait, how much longer he could fight for something that seemed to be slipping away.

As the door clicked shut behind her, Nelson sank to the couch, the weight of the silence pressing down on him. The love they had once shared—so certain, so strong—now seemed like a distant dream, something lost to time, and he wasn’t sure if they could ever get it back.

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