The reviews will be two-part from now on: 1.Strengths 2. Areas of Improvement
Let's start...
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1. Strengths
* It's contemporary. Maka-masa ang dating story sa bawat mambabasa. Probably, isa ang pagiging hindi-pilit-sa-narration nito sa mga reasons kung bakit 'maka-masa' ang kwento. Na-ka-ka-relate din ang mga teener sa paraan ng pagkakasulat nito.
*May sariling writing style si Denny na pwedeng ma-distinguish from other writers. Pansin niyo rin ba 'yon?
* The story promotes the goodness inside every person. It has this kahit-gaano-ka-kasama-sa-tingin-mo-at-sa-tingin-ng-iba-pwede-ka-pa-ring-magbago point of view. It also says that a peson can change other's view of life. Remember Eris?
*Madaling i-distinguish kung sino ang nasa POV kahit hindi pa basahin ang "Change of Point of View" part. May sari-sarili kasi silang characteristics like, Eris is childish in nature and Eros is our Cuss Buddy, lels.
*There are vivid descriptions of the things happening in the story. Those help the readers feel the characters more and see the places clearer.
*It's amazing how Denny was able to make a thread among Memo and Company.
*It's somehow unpredictable, maybe because Eri'ss past is somehow mysterious.
*It's not that long, it won't take time that much.
2. Areas of Improvement (More of technicalities)
*Denny has multiple writing mannerisms ("In a way," "Pakelam," "Yung," etc.) which-- I think-- she should avoid when writing. Nakakabawas kasi yun sa attachment ng mga character sa kwento. Iyon bang kung papaano sila dapat tingnan ng mga reader. With writing mannerisms kasi, it's more of the 'Author" that the readers see.
*Observe proper punctuation marks, especifically avoid putting period (.) before a dialogue ends when there's a succeeding detail (ex. Details, "DIalogue." details) write instead: Details, "Dialogue," details. or Details, "Dialogue." Details.
*Avoid using: ellipsis (...) Use it only when needed/necessary (i.e. When the dialogue is to be continued; when there were omitted words (for quotations); when the sentence said is not finished because of circumstancial interruptions); exclamation marks (!!!) every now and then. It's not healthy for the eyes kasi. Just imagine people who always shout when talking. A bit irritating.
* Decide on the specific POV to be used. Are you gonna use 3rd Person POV or are you gonna use 1st Person POV? And stick to it. :)
*Observe the proper use of NG and NANG. RIN/RAW and DIN/DAW. (Please click the external link for the article about their proper usage.)
*Backread when necessary especially when writing in a Male's POV. There were times na mas feminine ang nakikita ko sa mga sinasabi ng lalaking nasa POV. Ask yourself, "Is this what a guy would say in this situation?" or "Is this something that a guy would say?"
*Please don't be confused by when to use "nito" and "niya" when writing in 3rd Person POV. The use depends on what type of 3rd person POV you're using (limited or omniscient).
* When using English, stick to one verb tense. Why? To be certain with the "when" of the story. Kapag present tense ang gamit, the reader should imagine na nangyayari pa lang ang kwento. Kapag past tense naman, nangyari na. E paano kung parehong past tense at present tense ang gamit? Labo-labo na. Hindi malinaw kung dapat bang isiping nangyari na o nangyayari pa lang ang mga kaganapan sa kwento. With TagLish, mas applicable po kung past tense. Past tense kasi ang kadalasang gamit sa Tagalog. Just focus with your verb tense, and re-read your descriptions.
Why do we have to be aware of technicalities? Because they affect the way we write, the way we give life to our characters and the way we give justice to our stories.
:)
No hates please. Just reviewing. :)
