Fractured Reflections

Chapter VII

Atsushi's POV

The days after that conversation are... strange.

Every time I see Akutagawa, there's an unspoken tension hanging in the air. It's like he's become more distant and more... present at the same time. He's watching me more carefully now, as if he's waiting for something to happen, or maybe for me to make the first move.

But what move am I supposed to make?

I don't know how to break through his defenses. Hell, I don't even know if I should. He's not someone you just walk up to and demand answers from, and I know better than anyone that you can't just change someone's nature.

But...

The more I'm around him, the more I can't shake the feeling that there's something buried deep inside him—something fragile, something broken—that he's desperately trying to hide.

It's like I can see the cracks in his walls, even if he can't.

I want to reach out. I want to say something. But every time I try, I get a cold, bitter glance that pushes me back.

I can't give up.

But I don't know if I can keep pushing forward, either.

Akutagawa's POV

It's late when I find myself standing on the rooftop, staring at the moon, the city lights glittering beneath me like a sea of stars.

I'm not sure why I'm here. It's not like I need to clear my head, not like I need to think about Atsushi or the way he's been looking at me lately.

I don't need to think about him.

But I can't stop.

It's maddening.

Every time he's near, I feel this pressure in my chest, this... warmth that spreads through me, and I hate it. I hate how much it affects me. How I can't just ignore it.

He doesn't understand.

I can't let him understand.

But there's a small part of me that wishes I could. A part of me that longs for the connection I've been pushing away my whole life.

I grip the edge of the roof tightly, my knuckles white.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Atsushi's POV

I'm not sure why I'm here.

I've been walking aimlessly for the past few hours, my feet carrying me towards the one place I never thought I'd go: the rooftop.

It's quiet, too quiet. But when I step out into the open air, I spot him.

Akutagawa.

He's standing at the edge, his back to me, staring at the night sky. His posture is tense, but there's something about the way he stands—something vulnerable—that makes my chest ache.

I don't know what compels me to take a step forward, but before I can stop myself, I'm standing next to him, the space between us almost nonexistent.

For a long moment, neither of us speaks.

I want to say something, anything. But the words get caught in my throat.

Finally, he speaks, his voice quieter than usual. "What do you want, Atsushi?"

I look at him, my heart pounding. "I just... I just want to know what's going on with you."

His eyes flash with something dark. "You don't need to know. It's none of your business."

I shake my head, stepping closer. "It is my business if you keep pushing me away."

His jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing. "I told you to stay away, didn't I?"

"You did," I reply, my voice firm. "But I'm not going to. Not when I can see that you're hurting."

He flinches, his shoulders tensing like he's been struck. But he doesn't say anything.

I take another step forward, close enough now to feel the heat radiating off him. "You don't have to do this alone," I whisper.

For a moment, he doesn't respond. His expression is unreadable, his eyes shadowed.

But then, he lets out a long breath, like he's giving in.

"I don't need you," he mutters. "I don't need anyone."

"You do," I insist, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "You don't have to say it, but I know you do."

There's a long silence, and I wonder if I've gone too far, if I've pushed him beyond what he's willing to tolerate. But then, to my surprise, he doesn't pull away.

Instead, he leans slightly into my touch, just enough for me to feel the tremor in his body.

I freeze, my hand still on his arm. He's not pulling away.

But that's when I feel it—the weight of everything between us, the years of walls and misunderstandings, the pain and the anger—and I realize, maybe for the first time, that Akutagawa isn't just pushing me away. He's scared.

And so am I.

Akutagawa's POV

I don't know why I don't pull away.

I should. I should push him off and tell him to leave. But instead, I let his hand stay on my arm, my heart pounding in my chest like a drum.

It's... too much.

Too much closeness. Too much warmth.

But I don't want him to stop.

I don't want to feel this alone anymore.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

He doesn't answer right away. But when he does, his words are simple, straightforward, and completely unexpected.

"Because I want to be there for you," he says softly. "Even if you don't think you need it."

The words hit me harder than I'm prepared for. My breath catches, and for a moment, I almost believe him.

But no.

I can't let him in.

I can't let myself need him.