Fractured Reflections

Chapter VIII

Atsushi's POV

The next few days are... uneasy.

It's hard to describe. Things between Akutagawa and me have changed, but it's not in any clear way I can put into words. There's something heavy in the air when we pass each other, something unspoken and fragile. He still acts distant, his usual coldness masking the moments where he lets his guard down, even if it's only for a split second.

But those moments, I notice them.

And they make everything feel more real, more... complicated.

I'm not sure what to do with it.

I see him more often now, even when we're not on missions. Sometimes I catch him staring at something—anything—when he thinks no one's looking. And I wonder if he's looking for something.

Or maybe it's me.

I don't know what it is that compels me to keep pushing forward. Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe I'm making it harder for him to keep pretending like nothing's wrong.

But I'm not going to stop.

I'm not going to give up on him.

Akutagawa's POV

I can't stop thinking about him.

Atsushi.

He's everywhere now, in my thoughts, my dreams, even in the moments when I try to forget him. I can't escape the pull he has on me, the way his kindness slices through the walls I've spent my entire life building.

It's maddening.

Every time I look at him, I feel this overwhelming urge to do something—to say something, to reach out—but I can't.

I can't show weakness.

I can't let him see that he's getting to me.

So, I keep my distance. I keep my anger sharp and my words colder than ice. It's easier this way.

But every time he looks at me with those eyes of his, it's like he's seeing through the layers of ice I've carefully crafted around myself.

It's terrifying.

And yet, part of me wishes he'd just... stay.

But no. I won't let him in.

I won't be weak.

Atsushi's POV

"Are you okay?"

The question comes out before I can stop myself. I'm standing in front of Akutagawa, who's standing by the window, staring out into the dark city streets below.

He doesn't turn to face me, but I can see the tension in his posture, the way his hands are clenched into fists at his sides.

"I'm fine," he replies curtly, his voice colder than usual.

I don't believe him, but I don't press further.

Instead, I step closer, my heartbeat quickening with every step. "You're not fine, Akutagawa. I can tell."

For a long moment, there's only silence between us. His back is still turned to me, but I can feel the weight of his gaze even without seeing it.

"I don't need your concern," he mutters, his voice barely audible.

I frown. "You think I'm concerned about you just because I feel sorry for you?"

He doesn't answer, and for a moment, I wonder if I've gone too far. But then, before I can back away, he finally speaks, his voice low and barely a whisper.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

I hesitate, the question catching me off guard. "Like what?"

He turns to face me now, his eyes flashing with something raw, something vulnerable that he's doing his best to hide. "Like you want to fix me."

My heart skips a beat, and for a moment, I don't know how to respond. Because in a way, he's right. But at the same time, it's not just that.

"I don't want to fix you," I say slowly, carefully. "I just... I just want to be there for you. Even if you don't need it."

Akutagawa scoffs, but it lacks its usual venom. "I don't need anyone."

"I know you think that," I reply, stepping even closer. "But you're wrong. You do."

He doesn't pull away. Instead, his eyes soften, just for a second, before the mask returns.

"Stop trying to make me into something I'm not," he says harshly, but there's no conviction in his words.

"I'm not trying to change you," I reply softly. "I'm just trying to understand you."

For a long moment, neither of us says anything. The air between us is thick with unspoken words, but neither of us is ready to voice them.

Akutagawa's POV

I hate this.

I hate how his words linger in the air like a storm waiting to break.

Atsushi.

His eyes. The way he looks at me like he sees something no one else does. It's unsettling.

And for the first time in years, I feel like I'm about to lose control.

But I can't let him see that.

I can't show him the cracks in my armor.

I turn away, my voice biting as I speak. "You should go, Atsushi."

But this time, I don't feel the satisfaction of pushing him away.

Instead, I feel... empty.

Atsushi's POV

His words hit me, but I don't leave.

I'm not leaving until I get through to him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Akutagawa."

He doesn't turn to face me, but I can feel the anger and frustration radiating off him.

But I don't care.

I'm staying.

And maybe, just maybe, this time, he'll let me in.