Nevermind [90s fic]

Chapter 18: Everything Has Changed

December, 1995

The air was thick with heat, though it was late—well after midnight—and the stars above were fierce, like they were trying to push through the smog of the city. The smell of mildew and damp concrete, typical of even the winter nights in Miami, mixed with the loud hum of the same neighbour's loud TV playing from their bedroom while they slept and the occasional shriek of a neighbourhood cat. Lauren sat perched on the roof of their house, one leg draped over the shingles, the other tucked beneath her. She balanced the bong in her hand, the smoke curling up into the night sky as she took a long, slow drag. The familiar burn of the glass felt grounding, a kind of comfort she'd been craving all day since making her big decision she can't go back from.

Lauren sighed as she looked down the street, the houses all lined up in a neat, predictable circle, surrounded by the endless sprawl of suburban sameness. The trees, bathed in shadow, swayed slightly in the breeze, and the streetlights flickered intermittently, casting everything in a soft orange glow. Most families had long since gone to bed, but on this Thursday night there was this sleek silver Mercedes that rolled through, tires rumbling over the asphalt of another neighbour's driveway, to pick up a gang of teenagers sneaking out to (presumably) go party, and Mr. Lancer from two houses down walking his poodle as he smoked a cigarette and let the dog shit all over Mrs. Bernstein's lawn. It was comforting to know she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. And it was even more comforting to have something to laugh at now and in the near future when Mrs. Bernstein would throw a fit over the dog shit next to her beautiful purple flowers, and Mr. Bernstein not giving a shit because he had to get to work and couldn't be bothered with the ways of nature relieving itself.

The distractions didn't last too long, though. Lauren's mind was mostly somewhere else—far away, probably. Just another night to sit out here, semi-alone in her thoughts, while the world continued to spin without her.

Marilyn found her like she always did—creeping into her room and monitoring her through the open window. She saw her sister's visibly sad figure, her face illuminated only by the glow of the bong, and sighed. Marilyn hesitated for a moment, watching her twin from the threshold, before she finally pulled herself up and joined her.

"Can I get a hit?" Marilyn asked, her voice quiet and tentative as she crawled toward Lauren.

Lauren glanced over, her expression distant, but she didn't say anything for a beat. Then, she handed the bong over without a word. Marilyn sat next to her, sitting cross-legged, careful not to get too close to the edge. She took the bong and hit it like she'd done a thousand times before, the smoke burning the back of her throat in that familiar, satisfying way. The two girls sat side by side, exhaling in silence as they observed any more activity in the street below them. A few houses down, the lights were still on in the McCormicks' house. It wasn't that late for them. Lauren always wondered what they even do at this hour, Marilyn always assumed they were either just doing it or performing crazy seances that awaken the devil because the married couple wore the Star of David around their necks, which Marilyn always mistook for some symbol of witchcraft or the inverted pentagram.

"So, you're really done with Danny, huh?" Marilyn asked out of the blue, glancing at her twin, who was staring off into the distance, eyes glazed over in a way that made it hard to tell if she was even really listening.

Lauren flicked the lighter and lit another bowl. She took a hit, slow and deliberate, before blowing the smoke out in a long, controlled stream. "I just didn't wanna be with him anymore," she said quietly, her voice flat. "I don't know how else to say it."