Hopeless Shadow

Chapter 3 - Lonely Girl

Soobin didn't immediately conclude that Yerin was a lonely girl just because she had cried alone in class the other day. If he had only seen that, Soobin might have continued to think of Yerin as an arrogant girl rather than a lonely one. He had proof. In fact, a lot of evidence that made him really want to protect Park Yerin.

Other people said Park Yerin was arrogant. But why did Soobin see Yerin's small fingers intertwining, looking so sad after rejecting another girl's invitation to go to the cafeteria?

"Tsk... you really seem to hate us. You always reject when we ask you to go. Well, enjoy your loneliness," one of the girls had said, and Soobin felt frustrated hearing their sarcastic remarks. They didn't even give Yerin a chance to explain why she didn't want to go. Yerin didn't need to go to the cafeteria. Soobin knew that after seeing the lunch box under her desk.

An arrogant girl, they said? They were more arrogant than Yerin. Where could you find an arrogant girl who felt guilty and sad after rejecting an invitation and then being left alone?

Yerin just felt awkward with her new friends. She didn't intend to act arrogantly. It was just that they didn't understand her. Someone like Yerin needed a helping hand more often. They, who didn't know anything, offered their hand once and then left after being rejected. Yerin probably just didn't feel comfortable with them yet, but they quickly concluded that Yerin didn't want to be friends with anyone.

That was why Yerin probably chose to be alone and didn't care if people thought she was arrogant. After all, they didn't know anything about Yerin. So, instead of being abandoned, Yerin chose to leave first. Besides, people like them didn't deserve to be friends with Yerin. Being alone was more enjoyable. Staying silent had become her style, rather than gossiping about others. However, Soobin couldn't deny that it made Yerin look a little pitiful.

But sometimes, people need friends. A friend to simply greet and share stories with. Soobin agreed with this when one day he saw Yerin crying for no reason on the school rooftop. Alone. Sobbing quietly. Moreover, Soobin had just learned that Yerin's parents had passed away, and she lived alone in a small apartment. She had no one to share her feelings with. No family, no friends.

Loneliness was truly terrifying. And it didn't stop there. Soobin knew for sure that Yerin had something very painful that she kept hidden inside herself. Soobin never knew what it was, but that made him want to protect Yerin as much as he could.

Following Yerin quietly was the best effort he could make. If only Soobin weren't so cowardly, he would have hugged Yerin every day, patted her shoulder whenever she cried, listened to all her complaints, and made her laugh, instead of just watching her from a distance.

Well, what could he do? Soobin had tried his best, even though he couldn't change anything. He was content with just accompanying Yerin from afar. Secretly touching her furrowed forehead when she fell asleep and had a bad dream, just like he did today.

However, Soobin never expected that Yerin would wake up because of that gentle touch. His heart raced uncontrollably as he stared at Yerin, who suddenly opened her eyes and looked at him with wide eyes. Soobin couldn't even raise his head. His brain completely stopped working, too busy trying to find the right words to say to Yerin so that she wouldn't misunderstand.

"Wait, Park Yerin, I didn't—"

Before he could finish, Yerin quickly stood up and ran away at lightning speed, leaving Soobin alone with the confusion in his head. She always made his heart race, no matter when or where.

***

Of all the people Soobin had met at school, only the old gardener was always willing to accompany him and gladly listened to all of Soobin's stories.

The old man immediately stopped what he was doing with the leaves when he saw Soobin standing in front of him. He smiled and motioned for Soobin to sit on the bench. "What's wrong? How is your girl today?"

Of course, the old man knew that Soobin would talk about Yerin if his face looked so gloomy. Ever since Soobin first met Yerin, he had often brought bad news about his crush. The last time the old man had heard, Yerin had locked herself in the school bathroom for two hours. That had made Soobin anxious, afraid something had happened to her, and he couldn't do anything about it. Just as he was about to enter the women's restroom, Yerin came out, her eyes red and vacant.

Soobin sighed. His gaze fell to the dry ground below. "She tried to hurt herself again," he said weakly, trying to answer the old man's question.

The old man's eyes widened upon hearing Soobin's words. "Hurt herself?" he repeated. Then he fell silent, feeling both pity and confusion at the same time. "How could she do that?"

Soobin shook his head slowly. He, too, wanted to know why Yerin would go that far. Even though everything had seemed fine that day, there was no sudden crying or pale face after coming out of the bathroom. It had been a perfect day. Soobin had even seen Yerin smile so sweetly and sincerely when a younger student accidentally dropped his things and apologized.

Throughout that day, he hadn't stopped feeling happy, and Yerin's smile was like a bullet lodged in his brain—unavoidable and unforgettable. It was too beautiful. But sadly, it couldn't last.

The sun was almost setting. Rain poured down just before all the students could run out of the school grounds. No one had expected the rain to come when the day had felt so hot. Most students chose to wait since they didn't bring umbrellas—they didn't want to end up soaked.

But Yerin was still Yerin. She seemed like she never wanted to do what everyone else did. Without any protection, she ran into the rain, forcing Soobin to follow her from behind. The rain was heavy, and the water felt painful as it hit his skin, and it was so cold.

Thankfully, Yerin stopped running just before reaching the crosswalk, waiting for the traffic light to turn red. But before Soobin could catch up, she moved again, even though the light was still green, and clearly, Yerin knew that—she had seen the traffic light before taking her step.

Seeing that, Soobin quickened his pace. He panicked as he watched Yerin deliberately step into the street filled with passing cars.

His mind was flooded with all kinds of thoughts. It seemed like she had truly lost her sanity.[]