Hopeless Shadow

Chapter 5 - Why am I?

There was a strange conversation that Soobin always remembered, a conversation he had with someone. But who was that person? He forgot.

What he clearly remembered was that the person asked him a question. "Do you know where people go after they die?"

Soobin didn't answer immediately, thinking of possible answers that might satisfy his conversation partner. "I don't know. Maybe the afterlife?" he replied uncertainly.

His conversation partner nodded. There was a brief silence before they continued, "But, if they don't go to the afterlife, why do you think that is?"

Soobin fell silent again, unsure of how to answer. Even though he knew the person was just asking out of curiosity, it made him think. That was true, why? Even though he didn't know the right answer, he tried to respond, "Maybe they haven't finished their business in this world yet. What do you think?" Soobin asked, curious about what the person was thinking.

The person nodded again. "I think so too. But what kind of business could prevent him from leaving?"

Soobin furrowed his brows in confusion. Who was "him"? Before Soobin could ask this question, the next part of that memory faded away, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

Soobin wondered if things like that really existed. A person who had died but couldn't go to the afterlife. If such a thing existed, what did the soul have to do to be able to go? Finish their business first? But how could they do that if they were already dead? But when he thought about it again, why should he even be confused about this? After all, it was the soul's business, not his.

Soobin thought that was the case, but today, when he found himself unable to touch Yerin, who was about to throw herself off the building, he began to question it again.

He wasn't sure whether he was a human who had died and become a spirit, unable to go to the afterlife. But with all the evidence in front of him, Soobin began to consider another possibility—that he might have already lost his life.

That's why he felt such despair. He was just a spirit, and he couldn't save Yerin. He couldn't stop her from what she was about to do.

As his thoughts became more disordered, Soobin didn't expect that a glimmer of hope would come. The girl, Yerin, grabbed the railing with both hands again. She turned carefully, climbed the railing slowly, and easily passed over it. Then, as if nothing had happened, Yerin walked into the building and disappeared behind the door.

Soobin, feeling weak all over his body, collapsed to the floor. He was relieved that Yerin hadn't really jumped from there. However, he couldn't calm down so quickly, especially after knowing his current state.

So he was a spirit now? He had died? What had caused his death? Soobin really couldn't think of anything regarding that possibility. He had always thought he was still alive.

Was it just a hallucination because he was too panicked watching Yerin about to jump? Then why hadn't Yerin listened to him at all? Was it because she was like that? Always ignoring him as if he were invisible?

Arrgh! All of this was driving Soobin crazy.

He needed to confirm this. Yes. What he needed to do now was talk to someone and see if they could respond to him or not. If they responded, that meant he was still alive. He tried to think positively. Then, he stood up from his previous position and walked down the empty building.

The bell had rung a while ago, so no students were wandering outside the classrooms. Soobin was a little late because of the earlier incident, but he didn't care; he just wanted to make sure he wasn't dead.

The class was still noisy when Soobin entered. The teacher hadn't arrived to start the lesson, so everyone was still scattered around the classroom. Soobin looked at Yerin, who was now sitting at her desk, hiding her face in her arms again. Thank goodness, the girl had returned to normal.

Soobin immediately put his plan into action to make sure he could be seen by others. Since the other kids were gathered and making a ruckus in the front of the classroom, Soobin decided to approach Huening Kai, who was sitting at his desk, seriously staring at his phone.

"Hey, Huening Kai. Can you hear me?"

There was no response. Maybe Kai was too focused on his game on his phone. Soobin got annoyed and purposely knocked the phone from Kai's hand.

"Come on, don't joke, you can hear me, right?" Soobin shouted after his rude action.

Meanwhile, Kai looked confused. "Huh? What happened?" he asked, looking down to pick up the phone that had fallen to the floor.

The sound of the object falling caught the attention of a guy sitting across from Kai. "What's going on?" he asked, turning around.

"My phone just fell on its own," Kai replied after he managed to grab it.

"It must be because your hands are slippery. You've been holding your phone since break, so your hands must be sweaty."

Agreeing, Kai replied, "Haha, you're right." He started wiping his phone, cleaning the dust off. "Alright, that's enough for today." Kai turned off the phone and put it in his pocket. Then, the guy got up and ran toward the front of the class. "Hey, I want to try it too," he shouted to his friends, leaving behind the one person who was now just standing there, feeling ignored.

Soobin looked on in disbelief, thinking Kai must be joking. He slowly walked to other classmates who were trying some crazy stunt in the front of the class. "Guys, you can see me, right?" He waved his hands in front of their faces. Not a single person responded.

"Hey! You can hear my voice, right?!" He yelled at them, but no matter how loud he shouted, it was all in vain. No one heard him. But Soobin still refused to believe it. "Please, answer me. Guys!"

He kept trying, even though his mind was starting to unravel. Please, you're just joking, right? But all the positive thoughts he had worked so hard to maintain shattered when a young man suddenly came running from behind, shouting excitedly, "I want to try too!" And then he ran through Soobin.

More precisely, the guy ran right through Soobin's body. While Soobin, the one who felt it all, could only stand frozen in place.

The laughter from the others around him was no longer audible. The loud voice suddenly coming from the doorway was also no longer of any concern to him. "What are you trying to do? Go back to your seats!" Just a few words were enough to silence the noisy kids, and they quickly returned to their seats.

Soobin remained frozen, letting everyone pass right through him, as if his existence all along had been like invisible air.

So it was all true, after all?

He was dead.[]