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I chewed on my meal like a goat.
It was lunchtime. And ironically, I was sitting alone at a table full of people.
I tried, I swear I tried, but getting friends isn't that easy for people like me.
The moment I got into the lunch hall, I scanned the place whole. I left no ant unseen, with my ×4 eyesight that consisted of natural vision and thick glasses.
When I found the table where fellow first year classmates were, I went over to the group and sat beside them, putting my tray on the table.
Nobody gave me a darn.
Of course they didn't. I didn't speak much in class. Not even to ask for a pen or to repeat the question. But I did try.
I greeted them good morning.
Nobody answered. Just some random murmur was heard, barely greeting back.
I adjusted my glasses awkwardly.
Okay... no worries, no worries... we can still do this.
I cleared my throat, then smiled in a friendly manner at the girl across from me.
The girl turned to look at me. I noted the way her cheeks wrinkled up at the sight of me, but I gave it no mind.
"Um... yeah, I'm Ushimine," she replied curtly. "What's wrong?"
I felt her awkwardness. "Nothing. I just wanted to say hi since we're in the same class."
"We are?" She repeated, casting a glance at her friends, who shrugged nonchalantly. She seemed to vaguely concentrated as I observed her. Then she raised her eyebrows. "Ah. Ah ah ah, yes we do. We do. Mm." She nodded. "Nice to meet you, Kikuchi Sechie."
"Er—Sachie."
She nodded. "Sachie. Sachie. Yes." She gave another nod out of politeness, and returned to talk to her friends, who seemed obviously weirded out of my interaction with the girl. They didn't even hide their disturbance.
I recoiled in my seat.
I felt the usual feeling of alienation once more, although this time, it was larger and more spacious than how it was in Aogashima, where country kids didn't emphasize on how unpleasant I looked to them. It was peaceful in Aogashima.
I couldn't dare talk to any other person, so I excused myself to sit at an empty table at the corner of the lunch hall. It may sound weird, but I just loved corners and backseats and anything that had to do with sitting at the far back of a group or audience. It gave me a far back view that allowed me to look at everyone and everything, like how hawks watch their prey from the sky, except I was on the ground, so it was just like how owls follow their prey in tree trunks. Weird comparison, I know. But it still works.
