I Fell In Love With My Brother (A Janoskian Twins Story)

A Skip of the Beat of My Heart

I opened my eyes.

I blink.

I look around.

The room is blinding or I just thought it is because I can't see enough. All I can see is white again. The walls, the bed I am lying on and the ceiling is all white. I began to ask myself if I am dead and this is one of the heaven's room or I survived and this is a fucking hospital. I never liked hospitals.

I wince. I can feel something on my arm. Something like- God, a needle is pricked on my arm. I gasp. I am scared of needles and I want this fucking needle to be removed as soon as possible. Fuck.

'I really hope he'll be fine soon.' I can hear some voices from outside and it's getting closer. The door is opening.

The door opened.

I closed my eyes and stay as calm as possible. Maybe I am dead and maybe I am hearing things wrong. Maybe this is just a death dream or that never exists. Maybe this is just my hallucination. I swear I felt my heart stop that time. I thought I-

'Jai will be fine Luke, you just have to be there for him and be strong for him.' Daniel. DANIEL.

If I can, I would punch him in the face for being here. How could he after he had not finished my burger the last time? But no, I pretended I'm still unconscious.

'Yeah well, Daniel, look, I know you stayed all night to be with me, Beau and Mom here in the hospital so, I think it would be better for you to go home because you might be tired.' I can hear Luke speaking. God, Daniel did that for me?

'Sure Luke; I will. You can ring me up if anything goes on, right? I'll be here in a minute.' Daniel chuckles.

A moment of silence. Silence, silence, silence-

I feel a hand hold mine. I can smell Luke's perfume. Luke's holding my hand. Fuck.

'Jai? Aren't you awake yet? God, you don't know how thankful for God I am when that freak Doctor said you survived and you'll be fine. You didn't let me down, Jai. I know you'll be alright. I know you'll fight for it and you did. I am so happy. Please Jai, now, I want you to wake up. Open those beautiful eyes, speak words I long to hear. I can't bear my other half being like this; lying down a hospital bed, unconscious. I need you to open those eyes for me. Look at me, see me.'

If I won't be this conscious at the moment, he'll be like talking to himself. It'll be nonsense. Maybe God rouse me up for this one.

I felt his hand a little bit tighter around mine. I want to wince because it hurts a little; I might have had a bruise there but I don't want to ruin his time, his chance to do this because I might like it, love it even.

Before I knew it, I can already feel him close. I can hear the beat of his heart closer to mine and his breaths, his breaths is like against my nose that I can smell mint on it. I can smell the sweetness of his presence, the flawlessness of it all. I want to open my eyes, wrap my arms around him and plant a million kisses on every part of him. I want to shower him with embrace and kisses. I want to hold him right now. I want to-

...

My heart is beating out of my chest. I am leaning closer to Jai again this time. But this time is not like the last time; the lights are on, he's deep asleep and the whole room is bright with white paint. I am feeling exposed but that doesn't stop me from doing it all over again.

I kissed him on his forehead, his nose, his jaw, his chin and I finally kissed him on his lips.

I kissed him like this can be the last time I would have the chance to do so. I kissed him like I wanna be loved.