Obliviously Existing

Seth's POV

I tapped my fingers on the barricade, slowly planning out in my head what I was going to say to him the next time I saw him. And by him, I meant my longtime best friend. He's my partner in crime, and the love of my life (well that was a secret) Roman Reigns.

It was Saturday, so everyone was off for the
day enjoying their usual activities outside of the ring. Meanwhile, I was already at the next WWE arena pacing like a pro. I was having an anxiety attack thinking about him and his gentle yet effective touch.

We had our match against the Wyatt Family. Eight days away at the Elimination Chamber. It would be the Shield versus the Wyatt's in a matter of days and we were the epitome of hungry, as we had been planning our canny game plan forever.

We had been daydreaming of our victory for the longest time imaginable, as we'd vowed for our arms to be held high in victory.

Meanwhile losing interest in that topic, I thought about other things and other people 24/7. To be clear, specifically about Roman. His eyes, his body, his beautiful raven locks that you couldn't ignore even from miles away.

Then suddenly, something hit me. Or someone you'd say. It was Dean.

"Seth, Seth! Snap the fuck out of it! Hello?!" he yelled.

I jumped when I had realized he was there for a good amount of time and held the front of my head with the palm of my hand, running my fingers through my hair.

"Sorry Dean, I'm just tired is all," I said.

Dean looked at me with a smirk on his face.

"Seth, I can see it in your eyes, if there's something bothering you, you can tell me."

I looked at him serious now, making sure I didn't give an ounce of hint away about my secret.

"It's nothing, really. Take it easy..."

I could tell he didn't buy it, but he just shrugged it off.

"Okay, whatever. But still, I'm taking you out on an adventure!"

He grabbed my wrist roughly and led me towards the door.

"No Dean, I don't want to go! Please just leave me alone and let me stay here!"

Just then, I felt a tear slowly rolling down my cheek. I had started to cry.

He let go of the wrist in his grasp as soon as he had heard me wince from the pressure he now knew he endured on me. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry Seth."

Then he noticed the freshly new and fading away cuts on my wrist as he looked down with guilt and gasped.

"Seth...this is the problem isn't it?"

I pulled my arm away and turned my head away from him.

"It's nothing!"

He looked at me with a blank mien on his face, and then a Dean I've never seen in all these years before came out; he snapped.

"Yes the fuck it is something Seth! How could you do this to yourself?! If you were feeling conflicted you could've just talked to me about it, and you know that! What the hell dude?! You know things like this have caused me to reach my breaking point! I thought we told each other everything!"

This caused me to jump from the abruptness, but I shot him with viciousness quickly after.

"I don't need your help Dean! Anyway, you can't help me with what's troubling me, so don't worry about it, okay?!"

He looked at me in disbelief, and then finally spoke again.

"Oh yes the hell you do, and I'll be sure to tell Roman about this! You're as delusional as they come!"

He turned away from me, and began to storm away, but I ran towards him and stopped him dead in his tracks, forcefully turning him to face my direction.

"No you can't tell Roman! If you tell Roman, you don't understand! My need for existence will just keep deteriorating until eventually it's gone forever! I am begging you! Please don't embarrass me Ambrose! Don't tell him!"

Dean furrowed his brows like he knew something was up, but managed to speak again despite his current bewildered state.

"Okay, I won't tell Roman. As long as you promise to let me help you."

I looked at him with teary eyes once more, subsiding from the compulsion of any further bickering.

"Okay fine, you win! Happy?!"

He turned to walk away but then proceeded to turn back again and stared me up and down worriedly.

"Don't worry Rollins, you'll get through this. You're stronger than you think. I'm just going to ask for one favor. Please, please, please try to become more open with your feelings, and nothing will get in your way. I just don't want it to be too late one day. Hell, it almost happened to me. Trust me on this one for at least once in your life. I'm only telling you what's best for an ounce of stability. I really care about you..."

He finally walked away without turning around once again.

And in that very moment, was when he left me all alone, filling a tank of tears down to my feet.