Anaya-His heartbeat

CHAPTER -42

SHIVARTH 

I sat by the window, staring into the quiet night. The day had been perfect—better than I could have imagined. Anaya's laughter still echoed in my mind, her smile lighting up every corner of my guarded heart. She didn't know it, but she had cracked open something inside me, something I'd spent years keeping locked away.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions. I wasn't the kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve. Hell, I didn't even know if I had a heart until she came along. But tonight... tonight felt different. It felt like I couldn't hold it in any longer.

Turning away from the window, I saw her sitting on the bed, completely absorbed in her phone, her face glowing softly under the warm light of the lamp. She looked so at peace, so happy. It hit me like a punch to the gut—she deserved to know how I felt.

Before I could lose my nerve, I walked over and sat down beside her. The mattress dipped slightly under my weight, and she looked up at me, her eyes curious but patient.

"Anaya," I said, my voice quieter than I intended.

She tilted her head slightly, waiting for me to continue.I sat there for a moment, gathering my thoughts. The words were right there, tangled in my chest, but getting them out felt like trying to move mountains. Anaya was quiet, waiting. That was the thing about her—she never pushed, never demanded. She just... existed in a way that made me want to spill everything, even when I didn't know how.

"I've spent most of my life keeping people at arm's length," I began again, my voice a little steadier this time. "It wasn't because I didn't care. It was because I didn't know how. I didn't know what it meant to be cared for, to feel like I mattered to someone—not really. My mother..." My throat tightened, and I had to look away, my fingers clenching. "She didn't want me. I used to think I'd done something wrong, that I wasn't good enough for her to stay. And my father... he didn't make it any easier. He made me feel like I was just there, a responsibility he had to bear, not someone he loved."

I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't dare meet them just yet. If I did, I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish.

"So, I told myself I didn't need anyone. That I'd be fine on my own. And for the longest time, I was. Or at least, I thought I was." I paused, my hand running through my hair again as I tried to find the right words. "But then, you came crashing into my life. You weren't part of the plan, Anaya. Hell, you destroyed the plan."

Finally, I turned to her, and the way her eyes glistened under the dim light made my chest ache. "At first, I didn't know what to do with you. You were this whirlwind—so full of life, so confident, even when everything seemed to be falling apart around you. I didn't understand how someone could be so... fearless. You scared the hell out of me because I saw something in you that I didn't even know I was missing."

Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but she stayed silent, letting me continue.

"You made me feel things I didn't want to feel. Every time you smiled, it was like you were chipping away at the walls I'd spent years building. And I hated it—hated you for it, even. But only because I was scared. Scared of what you made me feel. Scared of what it meant."

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, my hands clasped together. "But the truth is, Anaya, I don't want to be scared anymore. I'm tired of pretending that what I feel for you isn't real, that it doesn't terrify me how much you've come to mean to me in such a short time. You've taken over every corner of my mind, my heart, and for the first time in my life, I don't want to push it away."

I looked at her then, really looked at her, and the emotion on her face nearly broke me. Her lips trembled, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "You've shown me what love is, Anaya. Without even trying, you've shown me what it means to feel seen, to feel like I matter. And I know I'm not the best at this. I know I've said and done things to hurt you. But, Anaya, I need you to know... I love you. With everything I am, I love you."