The First Rule

Chapter 37b: Yippie Ki Yay

Greg's eyes widened. Amusement flashes his expression as Greg shakes his head—before he drops his head, laughter and whimpers echoes through him like thunder on the raging seas.

Finally, John looks over at the two figures watching from a distance, holding hands. Tyler follows his gaze.. and quickly understands. Giving his dad a gesture, he gently pulls his mom away from John's chest, intending to give the three of you space. Your dad weakly extended his hand, gesturing for you and your mom to come closer. And in a trembled voice.. he mutters,

"Cry or no cry?" he chuckles, acknowledging his 'no shit' rhetorical question.

You find yourself already running to him as he welcomes you with a cry. Soon, your mom follows, sobbing heavily into his cheek. "Let me see you both now. So that I'll remember my most beautiful decisions," John reaches out and cups you and your mom's cheeks—his voice starts to break as he adds, "so I can remember you two up there."

In a whimper, you falter, "I really hope we all get to meet up there, dad" before breaking into a series of wailing cries.

Your dad nods as he hugs you tighter. He and your mom pat your back until your cries begin to subside—before John gently pulls you away to look into your eyes. When he finally finds your gaze, he asks, "Your mom told me you wanted a constant?"

You freeze for a moment, as John smiles gently—warmth radiating from him despite his frail state. "For a constant to be found, you can't just wait for it to let it come to you, Emily." Next to you, your mom nods, her eyes filled with both sadness and pride as she listens to her husband as he declares, "You gotta earn that consistency. You got to mold it. Nurture it. For every constant, there's always a variable. Remember that."

After he notices your nod, he continues, "Even though everything feels like it has no meaning, if you keep searching, you will find it. Just put your faith in God—who's always with you.. and everything will make sense."

While staring at him with tears welling up in her eyes, Janet reaches out and places a comforting hand on your back—her touch grounding you. "Your name means strength, Emily. I know you're strong! Trust me, along the way.. you'll know what makes you who you are."

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you try to steady yourself. John's eyes shine as he gently cups your cheek as he says, "You will find your constant, I just know it. I trust you—" he coughs, trying to steady his voice before declaring,

"I'm proud of you, Winny."

Your eyes widen. Hearing him saying how he's proud of you for the first time.. saying how he trusts you.. It feels bittersweet. All the arguments you had—to earn those words.. all the times you were frustrated with his restrictions—now it all seems like it was for nothing. Fuck this! You'd rather have him here, fighting with you—

"No! You have to get better—you'll do it yourself—fight me! Bully me—ground me like how you used to—!" you cry out, desperation lacing your voice. Clutching the edges of your dad's hospital gown, your hand trembles as you helplessly bawl, "How do you know I will do well without you—!"

"Because you're my daughter."

His words break you. Sobbing uncontrollably, you feel your dad kiss your forehead—and you drop your head on his chest, desperate to feel his warmth and jar it in your mind forever.

"And you," he says, shifting his attention to Janet as he raises his hand to stroke her cheek to say, "my love.."

Your mom purses her lips, trying to hold back her whimpers. Tears spill down her face as she places her hand over his, leaning into his touch.