inches : j&d

09

dunk had started avoiding joong. at first, it was subtle—a missed message, a skipped lunch, a day or two without running into him on campus. but soon, it became obvious. dunk wasn’t answering joong’s calls. he wasn’t responding to texts. he wasn’t showing up to places they used to meet by chance. 

and joong? joong couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

the kiss had been an accident, at least that’s what they had both told themselves. but the truth was, it wasn’t. joong felt it—felt the fire in his chest every time dunk’s name popped up on his screen, felt the ache in his chest when he saw someone who looked remotely like him across the room. 

he tried to ignore it. tried to go back to his usual routine—his studies, his friends, his quiet life. but it wasn’t enough. every second without dunk felt like an eternity, every moment without him felt like a hole in joong’s chest. he couldn’t do this. he couldn’t keep pretending that this wasn’t something real. 

finally, the breaking point came. joong had spent the better part of the afternoon thinking about dunk, wondering why he was running, wondering why he couldn’t just face him. so he decided he couldn’t wait anymore. 

he had to talk to him. 

joong stood outside dunk’s dorm, staring up at the building with a knot in his stomach. he hadn’t been here before. dunk had always been the one to come to him, to visit him at his house, but today… today was different. today, he was going to fix this. 

he walked up to the door, his hand trembling as he knocked. his mind was racing, thoughts tumbling over one another, but his heart, his heart was screaming for him to do something about it. 

after a few moments, dunk opened the door, his expression a little surprised but quickly shifting to guarded. he leaned against the doorframe, his eyes flicking to the ground before meeting joong’s gaze. 

“what are you doing here?” dunk asked, his voice rough, like he hadn’t been sleeping well. 

joong swallowed, trying to calm his racing heart. “we need to talk.” 

“about what?” dunk’s tone was cold, and it cut joong deeper than he wanted to admit. 

“about us,” joong said, his voice low but steady. he stepped closer, the weight of his words heavy in the air between them. “about everything that’s been happening. i can’t keep doing this. i need to know what this is—what you want from me.” 

dunk’s face hardened, and he pushed himself off the doorframe, taking a step back. “joong, i don’t… i don’t think you get it. this—we—isn’t something that can just be fixed.” 

joong’s heart twisted at the words. it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. not at all. 

“i’m not asking for it to be fixed,” joong said, his voice rising slightly. “i just need you. i need you to be real with me. i can’t stop thinking about you. i can’t stop wanting you.” he took a deep breath, gathering his courage. “dunk, please. be my boyfriend. i’ve never felt this way about anyone before. i swear, i’ve never been this in love.” 

there. he had said it. the words hung in the air between them, raw and vulnerable, as if he had stripped himself bare in front of dunk. 

dunk stared at him, his expression unreadable. the silence stretched on, thick and heavy, until it was suffocating. 

“you don’t know what you’re asking,” dunk said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. his eyes were haunted, full of something joong couldn’t name. “i can’t give you what you want. not like this.” 

“why?” joong breathed, desperation creeping into his voice. “why can’t you just give this a chance? i want you. i’m not asking for much, dunk. just us.” 

dunk closed his eyes for a moment, like he was trying to gather himself, but when he opened them again, there was a coldness there that made joong’s stomach drop. 

“because i’m scared,” dunk confessed, his voice barely audible. “i’m scared of what this means. scared of how much i want it. how much *you* want it.” 

joong’s breath caught in his throat. scared? of him? 

“so that’s it?” joong asked, his voice trembling. “you’re just going to run away?” 

dunk didn’t answer immediately. instead, he turned away, his hands clenching at his sides. 

“i have to,” dunk said, his words final, like he had made up his mind. “i can’t… i can’t be what you want me to be. not right now. not like this.” 

joong’s heart shattered. he couldn’t understand. this was all he wanted. why couldn’t dunk see that? 

“please,” joong whispered, stepping forward. “don’t leave me. don’t walk away from this.” 

but dunk didn’t turn around. instead, he took a step toward the door. 

“i’m sorry, joong,” dunk said quietly, barely looking at him. “but i can’t do this. not now. maybe not ever.” 

and with that, dunk stepped out of the doorway and disappeared around the corner of the hall. 

joong stood there for a long moment, his chest tight, his mind racing. *he couldn’t just leave it like this. he couldn’t just let dunk slip away.* 

but dunk had made his choice. and joong, despite the ache in his chest, couldn’t force him to stay. 

the door to dunk’s room closed softly behind him, and joong was left standing in the hallway, completely alone, the echo of his heart breaking filling the empty space between them.