The Mighty Ducks One-Shots

Not Ready

I don't know what day it is. I lost all concept of time a while ago. You could tell me that it's February in November, and I'd believe you. It's all part of the mental down spiral I've been stuck in. The sudden decline in my already depleting mental health began a few months ago. In just our first game of the season, I was on the wrong end of a hit from Grace Slater. She did what you should never do: hit me in my numbers. Not only that, but I was a couple of feet away from the boards.

In the moment, I thought I was paralysed. I could've sworn I heard something crack. Unfortunately, I was right. That hit caused my neck to break, leaving me in a heap on the floor. Connie told me that the stands fell so silent that you could hear a penny drop. All I could hear was my mind racing with the pace of an Olympian. My mom was ready to sue somebody before I even got to the hospital.

That was maybe five months ago. Physically, I've recovered. However, my mental state couldn't be more fragile. I haven't been back to school since the incident. I refused to. We're already easy targets for the varsity team - I didn't want to make it easier for them.

I want to be mad at Grace, but I know she didn't intend for things to go they way they did. She's a respectable player who made a mistake and apologised profusely for it. I had to beg the others not to target her. She's called to check on me a few times. Nobody has ever done that after injuring me. I'm more frustrated with myself that I put myself in such a vulnerable position. I should know better.

The Ducks have been by my side all throughout my recovery. Of course, I appreciate it, but I'm still trapped in my own head. At first, I listened to the games on the radio, but that quickly provided a new sense of pain. From then on, I just found out the final score. They seem to be doing pretty well without me. I should be thrilled that they're still getting wins, but I can't help my feelings of inadequacy. Every waking moment, I want to cry, but I can't. Tension builds as I'm overwhelmed with the urge, but I'm only met with an endless string of pounding headaches.

As time has gone on, I've distanced myself from the team. I've barely left the house since I got injured, but now I barely leave my room. I tend not to answer the phone anymore - I don't have the energy to even that. The curtains remain closed to keep the outside world away - though I keep the window open to feel the breeze. The only light is artificial; the LEDs that cover my wall or the changing glow of Adam's old TV. Even the TV is too much for me some days. Eating is a chore - one I forget a lot these days. I'd forget to breathe if it weren't second nature.

Today is just another day of rotting in my bed whilst being shrouded in darkness. The rest of the house has been empty since before I woke up, leaving me with only the voices on the screen. Lacking the energy to flip through channels or put a movie on, MTV streams constantly throughout these four walls. As I lay in the fetal position, staring at my poster covered wall, 20th Century Boy by T. Rex fills the silence. Just as the chorus kicks in, everything suddenly goes silent. Someone must have climbed through my window.

"If you're gonna rob me, at least turn the TV back on." My voice is muffled by my duvet, yet just loud enough to be heard.

"Yeah, I'm not doing either of those."

"What do you want, Charlie?" I sigh, keeping my gaze on the wall.

"To hang out with you, duh."

"I'm tired."

"You've said that the last five times I've been here." He ignores my lack of enthusiasm as he sits beside me in the space on my bed.

"Doesn't mean it's not true." I remain frozen in place.

"You still had the same clothes on too. Connie said she called you three times yesterday, and you never answered. The Bash Brothers wanted to take you for ice cream last week, and you never showed up. You were meant to go to the cinema with Luis and Averman, but they watched it without you. And that's not even talking about hockey. What's going on? We miss you." The sincerity in his voice only pains my soul more.