Yeah, They Fall. But Can I Feel Them?

The rain comes again, yet I feel the same, though I know I've changed. I walk through the day uncaring. I don't feel my emotions like I used to. They are dull like the gray sky above me. The air around me tingles with electricity. Lightning flashes in the clouds. I don't move. I want to, but I want to see something first. No sun can penetrate the thick clouds. It's cold. At least I can feel that. It's not enough, I want more. I want to feel everything like I use to. I want things to be simple again. Tears form in my eyes. The memories aren't kind to me anymore. Happier days are what lies dead behind me. A crash of thunder breaks me from my trance. The rain will pour soon. The anticipation kills me. I want to run, but that wouldn't be right. I want to walk forward, but that won't happen either. My legs are like stone. Darkness falls over the land. It creeps along the ground, consuming everything beautiful and turning it into something twisted and ugly. It's all dark out now, but the rain still doesn't fall. Lightning flashes momentarily, illuminating the world only for a split second. The thunder crashes, but no rain falls. I try to distract myself by remembering "back then", a time when smiles came easy, the sun shined warm, and things were fun. Suddenly I jolt back to this reality. Something touched my face. I reached up and wiped it away. A raindrop! I wanted to cry. I look up to the sky again. It started off first as a light feathery drizzle. I smiled as large drops of water began to fall from the black clouds. The oversized raindrops melted on my lips. I finally let go. I let go of the past. I let go of the future. I let go of the present. I lost myself in the glorious rainstorm. Nothing mattered anymore. I let tears mix into the rain. Tears of joy and sadness, pain and happiness. I guess the best solution was not to control, but to let go. I close my eyes. Yeah, they fall. But can I feel them? Yes. It's so wonderful. Maybe they'll even wash away the things that have been holding me back. I hope. Then maybe I can go out into the world, fearless and without regret.