Company - campingdolphin

chapter ten

book two - brayden

I always dreamed of Ryan falling in love with me.

I always asked myself if I should ask him.

I wanted to know how he felt about me.

But not like this.

-

My mind was whirring, a whirlwind of thoughts in my mind as I tried to process what just happened. The quiet sobs of Ryan seemed distant from me as I simply stared at the floor of the hallways.

"There you fucking go!" Ryan yelled at me. "I love you and I hate you for that!"

He loved me.

"Damn you." I muttered, running my hand through my hair. "Do you know how long I wished for you to say that? Do you? 5 years. 5 years of watching you pull yourself away from everyone and me."

I moved my gaze to Ryan, watching him look at me with wide eyes, tears still falling. His hands were shaking and soft sobs occasionally escaped him. I shut my eyes tight, trying to envision him happy and not crying over me.

"You're a dumbass, Brayden."

"...how so?"

"5 years of waiting, I had as well. 5 years of waiting for someone to save me. I thought you would notice, after all, you were my best friend. Yet you didn't and I was forced to suffer. Why do you think I hate you? Because even thought you never helped, I still loved you and I hated that."

We lapsed into a tense silence, me thinking of all those times when I never noticed. Little parts of me started to break as each memory came and I noticed things about Ryan. Yet it was too late now and all I could do was weep about it.

"I hate you so much, Brayden." He whispered.

"I hate myself too."

"But I love you too..."

I sighed, before standing up and walking away.