My Best Mistake

the call

Two weeks ago I was unsure of the root of my desire
But in the recent days I've realized it
A sensation splayed across my chest like a solar flare

I asked a question in Fever Dream
Whether I truly wanted you back in my life or if i was just reminiscing
But i think I've done enough thinking
To answer this honestly.

I don't want to live in the nights i used to spend waiting for your correspondence
Or rivers that flowed from my heart anytime our rationales opposed each other
No longer reveling in the miles that stretch to separate us
But anticipating a closer connection

I hear the sound of your voice wherever I go
Only to realize that the call is coming from inside the house
Echoes of your laugh
Are etched into the cracks in my bathroom sink
And I rest on the words that leave your lips
Because they cushion the bad thoughts
That mess up my clean floors

I watch your eyes
Tell me everything I need to know
Through my mind's eye
While the clothes and accessories
with your name on it
Clutter the place i call home

I want to live in the now,
Where my fingerprints still stain
where
i used to hug you;
Where
Sea levels rise
When you see me again
and
Hills form on your skin
at the way i say your name

I want appearances on the astral plane
To be real life reunions
I want
your contact
to be a regular name in my notifications
To be
More than an echo bouncing off your walls
more than
a smile
ingrained into your reflection

I want you back in my life,
and I know you've been hearing my name everywhere you go
It's only a matter of time
before you realize
too
That the call is coming from inside the house