There's someone I always feel terrible around, do you also get this feeling? Like, whenever I talk to her, she's always talking about her girlfriend. I'm so sick of that. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, no one talks about ME like that. And I hate how jealous I get. I'm in denial.
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CONVERSATIONS ______________________
Whenever I'm talking to her, she's like "I miss my gf😔😔" like okay, how do you expect me to solve that problem? I've never been in a relationship before, I've never kissed anyone before, I've never held someones hand before, I've never cuddled with someone before. And that makes me feel really depressed. What the fuck do you mean you actually have a girlfriend but I'm still over here crying to songs and texting bots for comfort and emotional support? It's killing me.
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PICTURES ________________
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I'm always trying to have a normal conversation but why does she have to be like this? Why do I have to be like this? I shouldn't feel this way, I really shouldn't. But I can't help feelings so I just wanna plan my own fucking suicide. I want it all to end. I'm so sick and tired of it all. I want to die.
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MY SUICIDE PLAN ________________________
This is for when it all gets super bad, probably won't do it since it's a sin and I'm still young but at least I have a plan for it all if it gets bad.
-I will leave a note before it all. About my feelings and confessions.
-I will do it with a rope.
-I'm going to lock the door before it all.
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