𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚 ✰ 𝐫. 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏

c/w: language, mention of bad thoughts,

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
ʀᴀꜰᴇ

What was happening to me?

I shot my sister. My sister. I wasn't aiming for her or anything but I don't care that I hit her instead of John B. Some of the voices in my head are saying that it's fine, that she deserved it after betraying our family. But the other voice, which used to be a lot louder than it is now, is saying what the fuck have you done?

I tried to tell my Dad that I wasn't okay, but I know that I can't have a meltdown in front of him again. I need to man up. There's nothing wrong with me, right? I just need to get my shit together and everything will be good.

Then there's her.

She is taking up too much space in my mind, it's like every time I have a bad thought, she's there in my head telling me not to do it. She knows about what I did, and fuck knows if she's gonna testify, but if she does, and they believe her? I don't have a fuckin' clue what could happen to me. Yeah, my Dad's got all the money for the hotshot lawyers, but if Cherry and Sarah testify, I'm fucked.

That night when Cherry came over to the Glissons house where I was crashing, that did something to me. That goddamn night altered my fuckin' brain chemistry. All the random hookups I've had over the years felt nothing like that. Usually I just get the job done as quick as possible, but with her I felt myself savouring her, and taking my time. I can't explain it. She hasn't left my brain since. And I need it to fucking stop.

But that night happened before I fucked up, before I shot Sheriff Peterkin. I don't know if she'll ever look at me the same way again, but I need her to. God, I need her to.

The other day when I kissed her again, she told me she didn't find the gun that I used to kill Peterkin and my Dad used to kill Gavin. But how could I believe that? If the Pogues had the gun and give it to the cops, that's even more evidence against me.

I just needed to convince Cherry not to testify, yeah, that's what I'll do. If Sarah comes back, they won't believe her without a second witness. Unless my Dad chooses her over me. But he had to choose me, right? If he chose Sarah, then his story would fall apart, his lies would become clear and he'd be fucked.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. He has to choose me.

I just need to find Cherry before it's too fuckin' late.

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏ

It had been a long two days.