Syn: For You

Who We Are

SYN

"So tell me about the people in your life," my therapist instructed.

"Zoë, my favorite little cousin, I just seen her this past Saturday. She was so full of energy and joy, I didn't know what to do with it. She's a bright little girl. She always makes people happy when they when they're not in a good mood. You could consider her the mini grandmother of the family, she brings everyone together. Zoë is always happy, I've never seen her down. Especially when she's with Kas. Kas and Zoë are beautiful together, it's like a good father having fun with his daughter. Zoë has told me that she wished he was her father..."

"Can you elaborate on Zoë? I noticed the slight change of tone in your voice as you began to speak about her father."

"Oh, Zoë's father's never around anymore, he and my aunt had a big argument about how he's not much of a father to her. I guess he decided that he would be just that, a deadbeat father."

"Why does she wish Kas was her dad?"

"Kas is...if I put it the way that she does—he's the fun policeman," I chuckled. "He keeps her safe, always checks on her, but if she steps out of line he corrects her—and they always get donuts whenever he comes by. They have a great relationship, they understand each other very well," I answered.

"How does Kas feel about her?"

I coughed, "He loves her. I can tell just by how he hugs her, they look peaceful. He doesn't like her mother—my aunt— he thinks she is taking the anger she feels for her baby father out on Zoë and he's not too fond of abuse when it comes to kids. He doesn't like when anyone is abused, it's not something he plays with at all, but when it comes to Zoë, all hell breaks loose."

"How is Zoë being abused? Is there any physical abuse?"

"It's nothing physical, only verbal. My aunt can be a bit harsh with her words at times. Zoë's a sweet and innocent girl but she's still a kid. Sometimes she'll whine and cry, maybe even complain, about things she wants but can't have. My aunt thinks she's supposed to be both the man and woman of the house. She's always saying stuff like, 'ya father ain't here to set yo' ass straight so i gotta do the shit'. I understand her intentions but she doesn't do it the way a man would. Often times it sounds like she's trying to make her feel bad for him leaving as if it's her fault he left in the first place."

"How do you feel about it all? Zoë? Your aunt? Do you feel she is capable of being better? Or do you think she's going to be like that forever?"

Before I answered, I thought to myself, "why is she asking this question".

"I think that she had Zoë because she thought it would keep him around, not because she actually wanted a child. So I don't see her becoming a better parent at all, not for as long as she treats her the way she's treating her. I love kids and I do have a great amount of experience with kids but to be a parent...I don't know if I'm ready for it.It's one thing to babysit a child—you know, make sure they eat, make sure they bathe, drink water, make sure they're not fucking with anything—but it's a whole 'nother ball game to parent a child. I know that I wouldn't do what her mother does..I'm a victim of it myself so I know how Zoë feels. I just would love if her conditions were a lot better. Her birthday is today and I promised her that I would spend time with her. She's only six years old and she looks forward to seeing me on her birthday than she does getting a gift from her mother on her birthday, it's sad. I do eventually want kids though...someday."

Kas, he's my everything, he makes the sun appear brighter than it shines. He's always there for me, no matter who he's with.

Ry'Nel is my best friend, we've been through thick and thin with each other. I love her to death and I'd do anything for her, even die.