Rescue Nova

Brave Girl

Nova dreading her first doctor's appointment was the reason she woke up in headspace that Wednesday morning. The stress to be expected in this situation was compounded by Nova's history of trauma, which caused her mind to sometimes perceive even mildly frightening events as terrifying. Sometimes when a person's brain is exposed to trauma after trauma over and over again, the brain can get stuck in a hyperdrive that can cause slightly unnerving events to produce severe anxiety.

Leila saw this for the first time in Nova right before she went in for her assessment. Something that would cause the average person a little apprehension had Nova sick with worry and trembling. But since her rescue, Nova hadn't experienced this much, and when she had, like before the assessment, she was still able to recognize that she was in reality safe.

Today was the first time since coming to Kimberly and Leila that Nova felt like she was in real jeopardy. Being in five-year-old headspace didn't help that at all. Nova was bereft of the adult logic that might have soothed her. For this reason, she had tears in her eyes soon after waking and was misty-eyed on and off all morning and afternoon until her appointment.

Ever since the day Kimberly and Leila met Nova, the girl's behavior had been impeccable. The punishment and reward system they established shortly after her arrival had served to make her look forward to something, but it did nothing to improve her behavior because her behavior needed no improvement. Getting her token and hand stamp each day had been a cakewalk. Her jar was half full, and she had not even had her sunshine flipped once. Being good was effortless - before today.

Today was different. Nova was experiencing some strong, uncomfortable new feelings. It wasn't the fear or the sadness that were new, it was the urge to vent those feelings that was unfamiliar to Nova. Little Nova was overwhelmed and felt like responding to it in a way she never had before - by screaming at the top of her lungs. That was a completely new desire.

When she was living with Brian, Nova knew those kinds of feelings were to be suppressed. Giving reign to any extreme emotions would be met with devastating consequences, so her mind never even let her feel the yearning to do so. Things were different now. Her mind knew she was safe. Of course, Nova didn't know about all those goings-on in her subconscious. All the child knew was that she felt like throwing a tantrum, something she'd never felt like doing before. Her new, seemingly bizarre feelings frightened her, only serving to add more fuel to the fire.

Feeling overwrought, Nova did the only thing that somewhat alleviated her distress - she clung to Leila. All morning, whenever Leila couldn't hold Nova, the little one followed her around, holding on to Leila's shirt. Periodically, Nova used her free hand to wipe her teary eyes. Leila understood the girl's upset and didn't let herself get too busy with her normal chores. She gave Nova most of her attention.

•••••••••••••••

"You have to eat something, Nova," Leila pleaded at lunchtime. "I know you're not hungr--"

Leila's phone, that was on the table, interrupted her. Leila had left four texts for Kimberly to call her. Seeing this was the call, Leila grabbed the phone that she'd been carrying around all morning, told Nova she'd be right back, and dashed from the table.

"She's a mess," was the first thing Leila said upon answering the phone. "She woke up in headspace, and she keeps crying. I get her to stop for maybe fifteen minutes, then she starts up again. I know this appointment was my idea, but I'm thinking about cancelling it and waiting until she's more stable."

"Calm down, honey. This is to be expected. Look at it from her side for a minute. She knows that this appointment involves taking off her clothes. She doesn't want to, but she has to. What do you think that reminds her of? But, even though it was your idea, this was a decision that she made out of headspace, knowing that it was in her best interest."