The Summer I Came Home

The Beach and the Ocean

The evening sky was painted in soft shades of pink and orange as the last rays of sunlight dipped below the horizon. The gentle crash of the waves against the shore was soothing, a rhythm Belly had missed all year. After dinner, when the conversation around the table had quieted down and everyone began to relax Belly and Jeremiah decided to take a walk down to the beach. The sand was cool under her bare feet, the air was thick with the scent of saltwater, and the sound of the ocean felt like an old, familiar friend. 

"Last night at the beach house before the party, huh?" Belly said, smiling up at Jeremiah as they made their way to the water's edge. The sun was setting, and the soft, golden glow reflected off the waves, making the whole scene seem like something out of a dream. She felt her stomach flutter with excitement as she glanced at the horizon. Everything about this moment felt right until she remembered that her dad would be coming back soon, just in time for the Fourth of July, and everything was about to change again. 

"Yeah," Jeremiah said, kicking up some sand with his sneakers. He flashed her a grin, and for a second, it almost felt like they were kids again carefree, without a care in the world. He didn't seem to notice the way her expression shifted, but Belly couldn't quite shake the anxiety brewing beneath the surface. The summer had barely begun, but she was already anticipating the end of it. 

Without warning, Jeremiah took off toward the water, grinning. "Bet you I can get to that rock out there before you!" he called over his shoulder.

"You're on!" Belly shouted, laughing as she dashed after him. The cold saltwater hit her legs as she ran, and the chill felt like a shock, a reminder of the refreshing freedom of summer. She reached the water's edge just as Jeremiah dove in, kicking up waves in his wake. 

She paused for a moment, breathing in the salty air, the wind whipping her hair back from her face. she could hear the sound of her heart racing as she waded into the water, the chill of the ocean making her feel alive and alert. The playful part of her, the part that was always ready for a challenge with Jeremiah, took over, and she swam after him. Her laughter echoed across the water as she pushed herself to catch up, not caring if she got wet, not caring if it was cold. 

Hayven's Internal Struggles on the Shore

But as Belly and Jeremiah splashed around in the surf, Hayven stayed behind on the shore, standing a few feet away from the waterline, her arms crossed over her chest. She watched them, feeling a strange pull in her chest a mixture of longing and sadness that she couldn't quite explain. 

The ocean used to be her safe place, the one place where she felt like she could breathe. She and her mom would walk along the beach, collecting seashells and talking about anything and everything. Those moments were some of the few times she felt truly at home before the foster homes, before the endless waiting for someone to take her in before she had to leave her mom behind. 

Now, the ocean only reminded her of what she had lost. She could still feel her mom's presence, her laughter in the sound of the waves. But it wasn't the same. It would never be the same. And for that reason, she couldn't bring herself to join Belly and  Jeremiah in the water. she wasn't sure if she could find that peace again. 

Hayven shifted her weight, looking at the two of them, smiling and carefree. Belly's carefree laughter carried across the beach, and for a moment, Hayven wanted to join in. She did. The temptation to run into the water and leave behind her sadness was strong. But something held her back something she couldn't shake. 

It wasn't just the memories of her mom or the way the ocean seemed to tug at her heartstrings. It was the feeling of being an outsider, even here, at the beach house where she had once belonged. Belly and the boys seemed so comfortable with one another. They were laughing and playing like nothing had changed. But everything had. Hayven wasn't the same person she was when she spent summers here before. Neither was Belly. 

the truth was, Hayven wasn't sure where she fit anymore. She had spent the last year in a constant state of flux moving from one foster home to the next, never staying anywhere long enough to feel settled. Her life felt like a series of brief, disjointed chapters. And now that she was here, at the place that once felt like home, she was still trying to figure out how to belong. 

Belly's Growing Uncertainty

Belly could feel the space between herself and Hayven growing. It wasn't something that had happened overnight, but today, it seemed more noticeable. She kept glancing back at the shore, seeing Hayven standing there, a silent observer of the world that was moving on without her. 

Belly's heart squeezed. They had been so close when they were younger Hayven had been her constant. But now, every time she tried to engage, Hayven seemed distant, withdrawn. It was like the girl she once knew had disappeared, leaving someone else in her place. Belly didn't want to force her, but she couldn't help but wonder if Hayven was pulling away because of her, because of everything that had happened. Because Hayven didn't know how to fit in anymore, either. 

Belly swam a little further from the shore, trying to shake the thought from her head. She splashed around with Jeremiah, who was still trying to climb over the rocks to the far side of the cove. It was fun, and for a moment, Belly felt lighthearted again, the weight of her worries lifting as she let herself forget. But she couldn't forget Hayven. She could feel the distance between them. 

Finally, after what felt like hours, she and Jeremiah pulled themselves out of the water, shivering slightly. Belly wrapped herself in a towel and glanced back at the shore. Hayven was still standing there, looking out at the ocean. 

"Is she okay?" Belly asked, her voice quiet. 

Jeremiah, who was busy shaking out his hair, glanced at Hayven, then at Belly. "I think she's just...having a hard time adjusting. It's a lot you know?"

Belly nodded, but it didn't make the feeling of unease in her chest go away. "I Just wish she'd open up more. It's like she doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

Jeremiah's expression softened. "Give her time. She's been through a lot. Don't take it personally."

But Belly couldn't help it. Every time she tried to approach Hayven, if felt like there was this invisible barrier between them. She had spent so many summers with Hayven, running around, making memories. It was hard to see her so distant now. 

Hayven's Withdrawal

Back on the shore, Hayven still stood quietly, her gaze fixed on the waves. The water crashed against the sand in a constant, unrelenting rhythm, and with every wave, a small piece of her felt like it was being pulled further away. She wanted to join Belly and Jeremiah, to be part of the fun again, but if felt impossible. She couldn't let herself be part of their world, not yet. She didn't know how. 

It was the same feeling she had experienced her whole life this constant sense of being different. Even when she was surrounded by people, even when she was with her mom, she had always felt just a little out of place. But now, with Belly and the Fishers, it felt even worse. She wasn't the girl who had spent her summers here anymore. That girl was gone, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her back. 

She wasn't sure what hurt more the ache of wanting to reconnect with Belly or the knowledge that she was still so broken inside, still so far from where she wanted to be. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She had spent too much time being vulnerable, too much time feeling helpless. She couldn't do that here, not in front of everyone. 

For now, she would keep her distance, she would keep watching from the sidelines. Maybe someday, things would be different. But for now, she couldn't bring herself to jump in. 

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the beach in shadows, Hayven turned her back to the ocean. She walked slowly, her feet dragging through the sand, away from the water, and toward the house, where the others would be waiting. 

She couldn't be part of their world, not yet. 

But she would try. Eventually.