Philadelphia Gold - A BradGa AU

Aren't You Tired Tryin' To Fill That Void

Bradleys POV - Continued (There can never be enough Hangover chapters)

The rest of the party was pretty fucking good not gonna lie, Stefani and I found ourselves drunkenly wiping birthday cake on each others faces, before ending in a kiss, not really caring that over half the team still didnt know we were together.

We drank more than we thought we ever could, Every last drink was gone and the minute the tattoo gun came out, I knew it was trouble for Saquon.

"Okay, Stef, Watch this" I smirked at her as I started tattooing "I ❤ my QB1 More Than My Wife" onto Saquons back, Imagine when his wife finds this, Then Stefani took it off me and wrote in "I Miss The Giants" which we couldnt help but burst out laughing afterwards, 

The rookies had all been long gone by now and it just left us veterans, the ones who had been playing hard and partying harder for years now, so it was pretty good. 

I threw out the dodgy tattoo gun afterwards, since it broke when Jason tried to draw a pretty fucked up looking rendition of the Eagles logo onto Saquons stomach, but the damage was done already, I might be 30 now but I ain't gonna change whatsoever.

That was the last thing I could remember though.

*****

Stefanis POV

I wasnt going in as hard as I should be, I had maybe had about eight or nine drinks, but when Bradley was so out of it and Jason got an idea, I knew it was going to be good.

Jason held up a pin and a lighter, heating it up a little as I worked out right away what he was going to do, and I couldnt help but laugh as he bought the heated up pin close to Bradleys nose.

He started to poke it through there, getting it all the way through on the first go before asking me for one of my earrings, I quickly rushed upstairs to grab one as I started laughing, Bradley didnt even notice it though as Jason slid it through the hole, "Looks like we got 2007 Bradley back" He started laughing as Bradley slowly came to, walking over to grab himself another drink.

"Looks like Saquons out" Bradley started laughing a little as he chugged back another beer, "What should we do to him now"

"I dunno" I chuckled a little, It was so funny to look at Bradley right now, totally oblivious to everything but I couldnt just straight up tell him, That would ruin the surprise tomorrow.

*****

Bradleys POV - 11am

I woke up, suddenly feeling the worst hangover I had ever felt come on, Maybe the whole thing about hangovers in your 30s is true, Maybe they are this bad, I had absolutely no memory of last night past giving Saquon a tattoo.

I'd had a pretty fucking great time, It was awesome, but I sort of wished I could remember as I fixed myself a coffee, looking at Saquon, Jason and A.J still passed out on the floor, You could not walk one step without treading on an empty can or bottle, The house was trashed, TV's broken, Windows broken, Saquons Ferrari had decided to make itself at home in my living room, That was only the beginning

But then I came to the realization that A.J and Saquon are supposed to be playing football in about two hours, I had to shake them awake and get them to the Linc on time, "Fuck, Guys, Wake up" I shook Saquon, but he looked nowhere near awakening. 

I realized what I could resort to, I grabbed a speaker off of the table, finding a song to play quickly before cranking up the volume in his ear, "Bradley, What the fuck" Saquon and A.J screamed, "Get that shit away"

"You have a game today, Most the team are already there" I told them, before grabbing some Gatorade out of the fridge, "Here"

"Coop, I will pay you my next year salary if you wear that on Super Bowl day" Saquon started laughing, but I didnt know what he was talking about, 

"We have to make the Super Bowl first" A.J chimed in, "But seriously, Bradley, You have to"

"What the fuck are you guys talking about" I groaned, still unsure as I toasted some bagels for myself.

"Your nose, Cooper" Saquon smirked, but I knew whatever it was I had was not nearly as bad as Saquons tattoos, 

I felt around my nose, and surely enough, someone decided a return of the nose ring was a fucking good idea, I thought it was pretty funny, Not quite as funny as Jason Kelce pulling four teeth out but still pretty funny.

"I'll only wear it into the venue, Not on the ground though" I said, trying to compromise knowing Saquon would actually pay me next years salary, which was around 40 million dollars

"No, You gotta wear it on the ground, For the whole game" Saquon and A.J burst out laughing.

"No fucking way" I started laughing, "A billion people watch that shit"

"You wear a Fuck The Cowboys shirt to games" Jason chimed in, hard to understand with four missing teeth.

"Thats because were playing the Cowboys" I rolled my eyes a little, "If y'all are lucky, You might get one play with it in"

"No, If you want 40 million dollars, Whole game, No exceptions" Saquon smirked, wafting some money under my nose, "Bradley, Dont you want this"

"Think about it, You've embarrassed yourself a million times, Getting tasered in the balls, Going to Vegas before a Super Bowl, Stealing tigers, Owning a tiger, Getting a DUI in Vegas the day before a game, Wearing a Fuck The Cowboys shirt, Doing your knee for a second time in one month because you were drunk at the Eagles game, Thats like your rookie level stuff" Saquon smiled at me, "Your gonna be remembered for shit like that, Even though you dont have as many Super Bowls as Brady, Mahomes, Manning, whatever"

"Weren't you the guy who had a lifetime ban from the Linc for cracking a few too many Cowboys fans skulls but they had to revoke it because you got drafted to the Eagles" A.J added, "Or was that someone else"

"That was me" I smirked, "and fine, I'll do it, but we gotta make a Super Bowl first"

I knew they would forget by then, The Super Bowl was still a month away and we had to win two playoff games to get there firstly.

Stefani came downstairs not long after our little conversation, bursting out laughing when she saw me, I walked over right away to give her a nice, long kiss in front of everyone, before she complained how hungover she was.

"Bradleys gonna wear that to the Super Bowl" Saquon started laughing and Stefani nearly spat out her water, "I had a good point though, He wants to be remembered" Saquon then added.

"That is true though, like people will remember you wearing that moreso than Patrick winning another Super Bowl" Stefani added, smirking at me.

Then I could suddenly hear that ever-familiar Kermit The Frog sounding voice, "Wow, Bradley Cooper finally admits he will not win the Super Bowl"

"Oh fuck me" I muttered as Patrick Mahomes walked into the room.

I started to think back to how hungover I was, and it was hitting me hard now, All I wanted to do was go sleep so I basically just said "Saquon, A.J, Find your own way to the game, I'm not coming" before heading back up to bed, Stefani following me. "Also, Tell Kermit to piss off" I added, pointing at Patrick Mahomes.

Given Patrick Mahomes was all "stand-up guy", "doesnt party at all", "thinks the Eagles are all drunks", he seemed to be popping up at a lot of my parties in recent times.

*****

Okay, this is the END of Hangover themed chapters, otherwise I'll never ever stop