~the outsiders one shots~

falling behind

Falling Behind: Ponyboy Curtis
In which Ponyboy C. realizes he's falling behind in life.

" I'm heading out with Steve to go to the drive-in, you sure you don't wanna come Pone?" Sodapop took it upon himself to always try and include his younger brother in things. He knew Ponyboy lost a part of himself whenever his best friend Johnny Cade died, but he never realized just how big that part was. Sodapop surely thought Ponyboy had other friends. But, with Johnny being dead he quickly realized that was not the case.
"Sodaaaaa, I thought it was just gon be us two tonight. The kid can go another day with us, when I'm more prepared to deal with him. Plus we won't be able to have as much fun with him." Steve, Sodapop's best friend, and also Ponyboy's least liked member of their gang, whined.
"It's fine. Yall can go." Ponyboy sighed . A part of him wanted to go but it felt wrong to go to the drive in without his buddy. Real wrong. He knew he shouldn't be guilty for Johnny would have wanted him to go. Yet he still felt like he should stay home.
" Look Pone don't feel like you can't come just because Steve said so. We'd love to have you come. Plus maybe you could find a nice kid to talk to!" Soda glared at Steve, upset with the fact he might've been the reason his brother feels so down about himself tonight.
" Eh, I wasn't in the mood to go anyway. Steve had nothing to do with it." Ponyboy didn't want to say it but Steve's comment had hurt him. But Soda implying he should go so that he can maybe find a new "friend" hurt worse. He hasn't thought about friendships since his last one ended so tragically.
" Okay, we shouldn't be too late because the movie is a shorter one. Just don't go walking by yourself okay? Dar should be back from work soon." Soda sighed. He knew his little brother was lying just to make him feel good. He was really worried for him, but he knew Ponyboy just wanted to be alone tonight. It was evident in his demeanor. Poor kid.
" Have fun." Ponyboy replied dully.

Once Sodapop and Steve had left all that remained in the Curtis brothers house was Ponyboy and his thoughts. The oldest Curtis brother, Darry, hadn't returned from work yet since he had to work a little bit later today. The silence had Ponyboy's mind running in circles. He really only ever had one true friend. Johnny. But Johnny was dead. That left him with nothing. Most boys at 14 were surrounded by large groups of friends and also girls. Most boys began to pick up girls at this age. Greasers and Socs alike. Socs. One of the reasons he's in this lonesome place to begin with. That night at the park. The church. Stop it Ponyboy. Leave the past in the past.
Leave the past in the past. How could he? Leave behind his parents and Johnny and Dallas. How was he supposed to do that? How was he supposed to move forward when his whole world was flipped upside down. How could he make new friends without feeling like he was betraying his buddies? Was that even an option?
Pony hadn't thought of making new friends or even attempting to talk with a girl since he felt that was something he shouldn't do without Johnny. They were supposed to do it together. Not anymore. Ponyboy thought to himself. Slowly Ponyboy sunk into the couch and realized he was falling behind.

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this cutesy little one shot was inspired by falling behind by laufey! this idea came to be a while back and i wrote it a few months ago in my notes but i thought it was cute enough to share!

suggestions and feedback~