Fall For You

(31)

"It makes perfect," Alex replies as he leans forward. The hand that isn't occupied with holding my hand, reaches up and tangles in my hair. His lips brush against mine, teasing me once again, before he captures my lips with his.

Our kiss starts off slow and gentle but it causes my body to warm all over. Our lips begin to work faster, moving in sync with each other.

Whoever said that lightning doesn't strike the same spot twice may have been a little bit wrong. I still feel the same electricity run through me that I felt the first time we kissed.

It's as though there's a force that continues to bring Alex and I together. We're complete opposites in more ways than I can count but our bodies don't seem to care. It's as though we're magnetic.

Alex is the first to pull away from our kiss to catch his breath. My chest is heaving as I try to regain control of my own breathing as well. I desperately want to keep Alex close for longer, but I shouldn't. I can't. I need to create some space between Alex and I before he makes me feel more of what I know I shouldn't feel.

Luckily for me, I don't have to find a way to move away from Alex without him getting offended. The operator of the Ferris wheel does it for me, as he lowers our carriage back down to the ground.

Alex stands up and steps out of the carriage before me, turning to hold his hand out for me. Usually, I would hate the idea of hand-holding, but Alex's gesture is sweet and makes it hard for me to refuse. I slide my hand into his and step out of the Ferris wheel carriage.

"Thank you," Alex says to the Ferris wheel operator who gives him a brief nod in response. Alex and I walk hand in hand toward the exit of the Pacific Fair.

"Are we leaving?" Alex asks, his voice softer than I expected, and it makes my heart skip a beat. I feel a swell of pride. I can tell he actually had fun today, something I don't think I've seen much of before. For a moment, I almost forget everything else. I want to stay, too. But I can't help but wonder if Alex will regret this—regret me—later on.

"Yeah we are," I reply with a half-smile. "You've still got that pop quiz to study for. Don't want you getting in trouble with your parents" I tease, trying to make like of it, but his slow nod tells me that making a joke was not the right thing to do. 

"Right," Alex agrees, his voice quieter now. I definitely missed the mark. 

"You okay?" I ask.

Alex exhales sharply, his breath coming out in a tight rush. "I hate this so much," he mutters, the words coming out more harshly than he intended. His shoulders stiffen, and his gaze drops to the floor, avoiding mine, as if he's embarrassed by his own frustration. "Sorry," he mumbles, his voice softer now, like he's trying to make up for snapping. "I just... I don't know, I'm always the one who has to study, always the one who's working too hard. People think I'm no fun because of it, like I'm some kind of robot. And it's all because of my parents."

"Alex, your parents are only like that because it's their fucked up way of showing that they care about you. They only want the best for you." He's lucky to have parents that care about him as much as they do, although it is a little over the top.

"I know," Alex says, his thumb gently rubbing circles over the back of my hand. "I just feel like, no matter what I do, I'm never going to be good enough."

A heavy weight falls over my chest as if there's a stone sitting on me. I try to say something, anything, but as I open my mouth, words escape me. There's nothing I can say that doesn't sound like an overused line.

Instead, I squeeze his hand tighter. It's all I can offer him right now. Alex is more than enough and one day he's going to have it all. 

This is exactly what I need. Alex opening up to me. The more he does. The more I can be the sympathetic shoulder that he needs to lean on, the closer I am to making him fall in love with me. He falls in love with me, I win the bet. Simple. I can't let my emotions get tangled up in his. No way.