Fall For You

(34)

Kiera downs the rest of her coffee like she hasn't caused me to feel like I've just been punched in the gut.

"Gotta run," she chirps, already sliding out of the booth. "Keep me posted, babe." She flashes me one last grin, bright, smug, and unfazed.

I lean forward, resting my chin on the palm of my hand. I stare out the window, watching as people pass by. What am I supposed to do?

I want to win the bet. I want the money. I want to go home. It's supposed to be easy. Uncomplicated. But instead, it's quickly turning into the most complicated, messy game I've ever played. 

Alex is a person. A good, kind person. I can't hurt him like this. His face flashes in my mind. That cheeky grin. Those green eyes that shine brightly. 

I pull out my phone. There are no new messages from Alex. That's good, I guess. 

"Gemma," a soft voice says from beside me. I hear the unmistakable mix of an Australian-American accent.

My heart lurches before I even look up. She's been doing such a great job at following my request for her not to see me. Why can't she just keep doing that? 

"Are you okay?" My mother asks.

I don't answer her. Interesting that she suddenly cares now. She didn't seem to care much when she decided the get on a plane to leave me like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. 

"Gemma," she tries again, her voice still soft. Gentle. I still don't look at her. I can't. If I do, I might scream at her. Not saying that she doesn't deserve it, but we are in a public place.

"I'm fine," I finally say. "I don't need you." 

"You don't look fine," Eleanor says. "You look upset, Sweetheart."

Sweetheart. Who does this woman think she is? Her calling me sweetheart makes me feel nauseaus. 

"Well, you being here isn't making me feel any better, so, maybe you should get lost,"I say coldly, hoping she gets the fuck away from me. 

"I just want you to know that I am here for you," she says, calmly, seemingly ignoring my coolness.

I laugh, a dry, empty laugh. "Yeah, right."

"I'm actually happy I bumped into you," Eleanor says, taking a seat in the booth across from me where Kiera was sitting. 

I roll my eyes, hard. Like if I roll them hard enough, she'll disappear and this conversation will be over. 

"I'm not."

"I think you should come and have dinner with us," she says, folding her hands in front of her like this is some kind of business meeting.

She has got to be losing her mind if she thinks that I am going to step foot inside that house.

"Dinner with you and your new perfect family?" I scoff. "Hard pass."

Her expression doesn't change. Her smile falters a little, but she manages to pull herself together. God, it must be exhausting for her to keep up her facade all the time.

"They'd like to spend time with you," she tells me, like it's supposed to mean something to me.  It doesn't.

"I see Matilda all the time," I tell her. "I have a class with her, actually."

"Daniel would like to meet you," she clarifies. Of course he would. The replacement Dad. The man she rebuilt her life with, without me.

"Yeah, well, I'd like a lot of things too," I say, standing from my seat. "Like having a mum who didn't abandon me."

There it is. 

The first crack in my voice. The first honest truth that's been sitting on my chest for so long, waiting to escape. 

I don't wait for her to respond. Instead, I grab my bag and turn and walk out of the cafe, fast.

The air hits me as I step outside. It's warm. Too warm. Like the whole world decided to make me uncomfortable all at once. 

And that's when I see him. 

Alex. 

He's leaning against the brick wall, just outside the entrance, earphones in, a takeaway coffee in hand. His eyes lift and lock onto mine. His expression shifts instantly, flashing through confusion, concern, and... something softer. 

He saw. 

He probably saw everything. 

He pulls out his earphones and slips them into his pocket.

"How much did you hear?" I ask, trying to sound casual, like my voice just hadn't cracked in front of my mother.

"I didn't hear anything," Alex says. "I only saw that things looked... pretty tense. Are you okay?"

Am I? 

I swallow. I knew I'd have to see her eventually. That I couldn't avoid her forever, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. Now, here's Alex, asking if I'm okay, so kindly, so gently, and the truth is, I don't even know what okay looks like anymore. 

I look away, blinking hard. The last thing I need is for Alex to see me crumble. 

But part of me, the part I keep buried, is glad he's here. I'd never admit it out loud, but with him here, I feel less alone.