Fall For You

(25)

"Hey," a voice says. I look up from the pages of my book to find Alex standing in front of me. I shove my book inside my bag and stand up from the couch.

It's been a few days since the thing with him and his mum. Ever since, I've been avoiding him. If he thinks I'm a distraction, then I'll make it easy for him and stay away.

"Gemma, wait," Alex says as he follows me towards the doors of the student lounge.

"I have to go, Alex," I snap as I walk through the doors. 

"Can you slow down for a second, please?" Alex asks.

"Why? Struggling to keep up?" I taunt over my shoulder and pick up the pace as I try to get away from Alex faster. I'm not giving him the chance to hurt me again.

"What is going on, Gem?" Alex asks. "I just want to talk to you, but I can't do that if you're running away from me."

"Huh, that's funny," I say, letting out a laugh with absolutely no humour. "Because I thought you weren't going to see me anymore. Ringing any bells?"

"You heard that?" Alex asks. "Gem, I didn't mean it when I said that to my mum."

"Oh, yeah," I scoff. "It sure sounded like you didn't," I add, dripping sarcasm.

"I didn't," Alex insists, sounding almost pained – like the words physically hurt him to say. "If you would just let me explain..."

"What's there to explain? I got the message loud and clear."

"Well, the message has clearly gotten lost in translation then," he fires back, frustration slipping in his voice. "Gemma, would you please just look at me?" His voice cracks louder than he meant for it to, echoing through the hallway. A few students stop, glancing over with confused, startled expressions. 

I stop and whip around to face him. "Don't make a scene, Alex," I say, shifting my bag on my shoulder, trying to ignore the eyes on us. "Really, we don't have to do this."

"Yes, we do," Alex says firmly.

"You told your mum you weren't going to see me again," I say, fighting to keep my voice even. "I'm just making it easier for you."

"I didn't mean it, Gemma," Alex says. "I only told her that to get her to leave."

 "Yeah, right," I scoff. "It's like you said, Alex, you don't want to be friends with someone like me."

Alex stares at me and then drags his hand through his hair in pure frustration.

"God, that's not what I meant when I said that," he says, his voice fierce. 

"God, that's not what I meant when I said that," he says, his voice fierce. "You were the one who said we would never be friends first and I thought that meant that..." Alex's voice trails off and his eyes soften. "Don't worry about it."

"No," I say. "Tell me. You thought it meant what?"

Alex's throat moves as he swallows. He looks away for second, like the words are too big, too much to say while looking at me. When he meets my eyes again, there's something honest there.

"You said we'd never be friends," he says quietly, "and for a second, a stupid split second, I thought that maybe... maybe you felt the same thing I did. That I do."

"And what thing is that?" I ask, even though I already know. My heart is beating so fast it hurts.

He exhales slowly. "You know what thing, Gemma."

I shake my head. I refuse to let him escape this time. "No, I don't." I need you to say it.

"That you don't want to be just friends," he murmurs. "Because you're into me, the way I'm so into you, even though I know I shouldn't be."

"So, we should just stay away from each other. It's for the best," I tell him. I'm giving him a way out now. It's his choice to decide whether he takes it or leaves it.

I take a step back, giving him an out. One that he should take.

But Alex refuses it as he steps forward.

"I don't want to stay away from you," Alex says, his voice a whisper, as though he's afraid of saying his true thoughts out loud.

"But your mum wants you to, and I'm not interested in being her target every time she wants someone to insult."

"She doesn't have to know," Alex says, taking another step forward. "She's not here. She doesn't get to decide who I spend my time with."

Alex's words do nothing to calm me. "Are you listening to yourself?" I ask. "You're talking about lying and keeping a secret from your parents. You'll be hanging around with the girl you know they don't like. The bad influence on you."

"Gemma, you're missing the point."

"What point?" I ask.

"The point is that it should be my decision. It's not up to my parents to decide for me. I don't want to stay away from you," he repeats.

"Alex," I breathe. This is such a bad idea.

"What are you so afraid of, Gem?" Alex asks, searching my eyes for an answer.

"Nothing," I say, and he raises an eyebrow. "I'm not afraid of anything." That's a lie. I should be scared. I started this bet and I want to win. I'm just not sure I know where the bet ends and I begin.

"If you're not scared, then please, give us a chance," Alex says before his voice drops. "Give me a chance."

"You really want to be friends with me?" I ask.

"Yeah, I do," Alex says confidently. "And I think you want to be friends with me, too. I think you know that, in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take." And the relationships we were afraid to have.

I hate the effect Alex's words have on me. That they make me smile. "Quoting Lewis Carroll, impressive."

If there's one thing Alex and I have in common, it's our love for books.

Alex flashes me a grin. "Only for you."

My chest tightens. "I think we can give this a friendship thing a try."

Alex's eyes light up, and a smile spreads across his face. "Really?"

"Yeah," I nod. "Now, we should probably get out of here, so all these people stop staring at us. It's really annoying," I add, rolling my eyes.

"People are staring?" Alex asks, a hint of something, in his voice. "I didn't notice." His eyes linger on me a beat too long.

I smile. "You're impossible."

He chuckles softly. "Maybe. But you like it."

We step toward the exit together, our arms brushing lightly as we walk, the contact sends a thrill through me.

Outside, the sunlight hits our faces. He flashes that grin again. "Friends, right?"

"Friends," I confirm.