fading

reins pov

I felt horrible,  I didn't know where I was.  I didn't even know if I was awake yet. I raised up and I was breathing really hard. No one was in there so I just continued to lay back down until my mom came in there.  She looked really stressed and tired. She looked at me so happily,  I smiled at her and asked what happened.  She was almost crying when she told me I cut my wrists and it was really bad.  I felt really bad I couldn't believe I put my parents and sister in that position.  I'm so sorry I said softly. She crawled upon the hospital bed and hugged me. " It's alright you just can't ever do that again because your sister and your dad and I love you so much! " I know I feel really bad mom I'm so sorry I don't know what I was thinking.  Before I knew it we were driving home it was about an hour from the hospital to my house. I was really tired.  I looked at the window the whole time until my dad said something " please don't ever do that again rein" I know I'm sorry.  I was really upset about him leaving tomorrow. An hour had past we were home.  My dad carried me to my bed "I love you" he said I love you too.  My mom and sister came and kissed me goodnight.  About 5 mins I was out.  Then I heard alarms and people screaming and I seen my dad he was shot.  I ran towards him to help but it was too late he was gone I couldn't find mom or Emily I was freaking out I hoped he would wake up , and then "huuuh" I was only dreaming I was breathing really hard. I could feel tears running down my face it all felt so real.  Suddenly I heard my mom open my door,  it had to be at least 4:00 am.  "honey are you okay" yeah mom I'm fine I just had a bad dream.  "okay you need to get dressed we are taking your dad to the airport. " Now I was really crying I knew he was leaving this morning and It would be forever until I would get to see him.  I got up and got undressed , I took down my hair and got in the shower.  I basically just sat there and let the water hit my face for about 5 mins.  It didn't really take me that long to get a shower I was out in less than 10 mins.  I blow dryer my hair,  put on a quick line of mascara and foundation.  I got dressed in my lazy clothes,  baggy sweatpants and a shirt with my bobs. I quickly straightened my hair and I was done. I walked down the steps about halfway to hear mom and dad talking about last night I sat down and heard " what if she try this again when I'm gone" my mom was crying.  "she won't I talked with her last night and I think she really regretted what she done. " I looked down at my wrists and took off the bandages.  It was really bad I really hurt myself.  I looked behind me to see Emily " how could you have done that and why you are so beautiful and amazing but you treat yourself like you are the worst person on earth" I quickly put my bandage back on.  I was upset em okay?  I didn't know what else to do.  She just walked downstairs and started talking to mom.  Emily was really pretty and she was really skinny we basically told each other everything.  Everyone walked towards me scanned down at my dads boots and all the way up to his face I realized what he had on and I knew what was happening.  They motioned me to come on , I grabbed my phone and we left.  My dad loaded his huge bags there had to been at least 3. We all started talking about how much we will miss him.  But then for the rest of the way it was silent.  When we arrived at the airport we all helped unload his bags.  As we got closer the more I felt torn.  I sat down at a chair and checked my phone..  *kaitlyn*: how are you doing I heard about tonight and I was worried about you please text me back.. Love you.  Kaitlyn was my best friend and she had texted me that last night.  I quickly texted her back saying " I'm okay,  I'm at the airport I just was so upset about my dad Love you too"  I locked my phone and looked up my parents were talking to the airport lady he got his pass port and sat down beside me.  "you okay? " yes I'm okay... But I really wasn't I was dying inside...