The Merger

Eighteen

Two weeks had passed since the rescue. Maize had been laid to rest in a sombre and quiet service. Firmeow and Tungmeow started a financial aid fund for young orphans in her honour. Dao refused to give up on the investigation, he still had too many questions.

Khaotung became quiet and sullen. He was broody and short tempered. He spoke to no-one and hardly ever smiled. His days filled with running to and from the hospital. He refused to leave his mother's side. Her condition had improved slightly however she was still in a coma. What's more is that if she ever regained consciousness she would probably be paralyzed as the bullet had hit her spine after traveling through her body causing damage that was impossible to repair.

Dao had given the letters from his Mae and also from Maize to Khaotung as this was their last wishes. Khao had refused to open his mom's letter as he felt in his heart that would be a death blow to her spirit. He had read Maize's letter and was very aware of what her last thoughts and prayers were and had vowed to honour them.

First had been given no option other than to captain Tungmeow and Firmeow. Somebody had to manage the company or they would have no company left. As such he hardly had any time to himself but even though his days were so busy they became fluid, one day flowing into the next without rest or sleep, he still made time to visit Khaotung and his Mae at the hospital.

Even when they were together they hardly spoke. First loved Khaotung as much as he always did, if possible, he loved Khao even more now. He understood Khaotung's need for space , for wanting to be left alone, for not wanting to or feeling compelled to communicate or interact with anyone. First knew Khaotung felt he didn't deserve to be happy, not while his mother was still in a vegetative state.

First didn't want to pressure Khao, because if he did,he might force Khaotung into his flight mode, triggering his need to run away from confrontation rather than face it head-on. So First waited, waited for Khaotung to be ready to accept his love for him.

Khaotung however, still blamed himself for what happened. He slowly withdrew from First, from his friends, from his company. He knew he was sinking into a depression but couldn't stop himself. He welcomed the lonely hours because that meant nobody asked him how he was doing. Nobody asked how he was feeling. He preferred the quietness of the hospital with only the soft beeping of the life support machines for company.

Khao loved First so much, but everytime he saw First he also saw in his mind's eye the bullet traveling through space aimed at his mother and not being able to stop it. He saw First on that boat wrestling with Snakeskin, he saw the gun , he saw his mom, bleeding and saw a bright blue sky as if all was right with the world. But all wasn't right in his world. He focused on his mother, because everything else became too overwhelming.

First was becoming increasingly frustrated, he was patient but also needed acknowledgement from Khao. He needed to hear what Khao's feelings were and he needed to know if he still had a place in Khaotung's heart. Thus on one of his visits to the hospital he decided to approach Khaotung in the hope of having at least a conversation maybe even dinner.

At first Khaotung was reluctant to talk but eventually agreed. They headed to the hospital coffee shop and sat for a quick bite and a coffee, which was as much time as Khaotung was willing to give.

"Now that you're actually sitting here with me I don't know what to say. I had planned to say so much and now nothing seems important," was the first thing First said to Khaotung in months. "Start by saying the one thing you've wanted to say to me from the beginning. No excuses, no apologies,no blame, no guilt , just say the thing bursting from your heart right now," responded Khaotung."I missed you," First immediately said.

First leaned across the table. He took Khaotung's hands in his own and held them gently. "You are my beginning and my end. In you I found my home. You are my friend, you are my partner and you are my lover. My life is incomplete without you. I know you are going through something awful right now but I want you to know I'm here for you, I will be your strength if you let me," whispered First to Khaotung.

The tears dropped slowly and silently from Khao's eyes. It dropped onto their clasped hands and rolled over the fingers wrapped around each other. The only words Khaotung uttered were "I love you. "

They sat in silence for a while longer, just staring into each other's eyes. They sat, each aware of the many things not said. They sat until a nurse came to summon Khaotung. His mother was in distress.

Khaotung ran to his mother's room. Upon stepping off the elevator on her floor he could already hear the alarm screaming from her room. Gone was the rhythmic beeping from hours before instead harsh sirens were blaring and more white coats surrounded his mother's bed than he had ever seen. Here and there he could make out what they were saying.

"We're losing her. Blood pressure? Heartbeat is too slow. Should we shock her doctor?" Many voices, all hitting Khaotung at once. He stood in the doorway, breathing fast, legs about to give in under him. All he was aware of was how frail and fragile his mother suddenly looked. All the while First held onto him, keeping him from collapsing.

Mere minutes had passed but for Khaotung and First it was a lifetime A lifetime in which they were granted one more miracle. Khaotung's mother awoke.

She was groggy, she was weak and she could barely speak but she was awake. The medical personnel fussed over her a while longer before Khaotung could eventually see his mother. He could only hold her hand and with his head resting on her hand, he wept.

She gently touched his hair, caressed his face and let him know how much she loved him, without uttering a word.

First gave Khaotung's mother his greetings before stepping outside and allowing mother and son much needed precious time alone. "Son," she whispered. "Don't speak Mae. Everything will be fine now. You'll get better and we'll go home," said Khaotung in one breath to his mother.

"No son," she whispered."Please just listen. My time is short. I have done all I needed to do. I've been blessed with a beautiful son who gave me nothing but joy. Please don't blame anyone for what happened to me. I knew the risks and to save you my son, I would do it all again. You and First belong together. I have seen how much he loves you. Nearly as much as me but not quite," said his mother with a soft chuckle.

In that moment he had never seen her look more radiant and more happy with the most beautiful smile on her face. So mesmerized was Khaotung that he didn't hear the sirens start blaring again . It was only when one of the doctors knocked into him that he realised what was happening.

His mother had gone into cardiac arrest. With her heart and body already weakened, she had no more fight left in her. When the machines finally stopped and the room filled with silence, Khaotung sank to floor and the last words he heard before fading into oblivion were, "she's gone."