The Merger

Twenty one

First opened his eyes to find Khaotung wide awake and staring at him. "Am I drooling? " asked First. "I'm sure if you were you'd look handsome doing it," answered Khao.

"What time is it? I've got much to accomplish today. No time for sleeping in. Have you seen my cell anywhere?" asked First all in one breath. "You've picked up Adi's habits I see. Let me give your cell a ring. I'm sure we'll find it eventually, " answered Khaotung while dialling First's cell.

"I thought you didn't have my number. Ah! I hear it ringing. Here it is under the pillow. Just as I thought. Ten calls from Adi. I best get going. Where's my shirt?" asked First.

"Right here," said Khaotung while holding out First's shirt to him. "Will I see you later?" Khaotung asked hesitantly. " I'm not sure. My schedule is rather packed. I'll call you if I can make time . I'm sorry I've got to rush like this. I'm just really busy," First tried explaining.

Before First could say more Khaotung kissed him. "First I have no rights to your time. You need not explain nor make excuses to me. I'm already grateful for you being here right now. Someday when you have more time I would like to tell more about what happened back then. I want you to know I didn't leave you, not then, nor will I ever." said Khaotung. "And yet you were gone and I was left behind. That feels like you left," said First sounding somewhat bitter.

"I didn't leave you, " reiterated Khao. "I made a choice, a choice and a decision. I'm guilty of making a decision on your behalf but not of leaving you, "said Khao, his voice trembling. "Khaotung if you think we need to talk then we will. Just not now.

Personally I feel what needed to be said has been said and we've each spent two years away from each other. Clearly a seperation is not impossible. Also I know you've become a really great chef but I don't know if it would be wise for us to be working together again. Please understand. My employees depend on me making the best choices and I've got to put their interests ahead of my own. I gotta go. Thank you again for dinner," said First before heading downstairs.

"Can I call you?" asked Khaotung desperately. First paused. He wasn't sure what to say to Khaotung. He loved Khao. That has never changed.

Khaotung loved him, he knew that too but it didn't stop Khao from walking away from what they had two years ago. What would stop him from walking away now? It felt to First too much like walking through a minefield, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

As First hesitated Khaotung became increasingly nervous. He finally said "First, Tay is your son too." If Khaotung was hoping this would make First turn back and stay with him, then he was mistaken. Instead First got angry.

Maybe for the first time in his life he turned around and faced Khaotung in anger. "That's the worst thing you could have said to me. Please don't call me.

I'll have Adi contact you if there's anything further we need to discuss. Be well Khaotung, you and Tay," was the last thing First said before walking out of Khaotung's house.

As he walked out into the sunshine he was glad for the breeze, the breeze that was instantly drying the tears flowing from his broken heart which had once again taken damage in his skirmish with Khao.

As he got into his car he could see Khaotung standing in the upstairs window and he could tell from his heaving shoulders that he too was in tears. "Better to make a clean break," thought First as he drove away from Khaotung, from uncertainty, from their shared past, and from the only love he'd ever been able to call his own, his own that is, until he lost it.

When First stopped in front of the hotel to pick up Adi, he decided two things. One, no more crying over spilt milk and two, time to harden his heart . That may be the only way to protect it.

Khaotung stood at the window a little while longer, watching as First drove away. Eventually he managed to get his emotions under control.

Tay's got the day off school today and Khaotung had forgotten to arrange a babysitter. Khaotung called Earth, his dear friend, his boss and also the one who had facilitated this meeting with First in the first place.

"P'Earth could you watch Tay for me please. I've got to open the coffee shop and Tay is still sleeping off the pain reliever I gave him last night. I'll try to be home before lunch, " asked Khaotung.

Khao could hardly concentrate on his work all day. At lunchtime he excused himself and asked his store manager to take over for him. He caught Earth and Tay in the middle of a game of hide and seek. They found Tay asleep in the laundry basket where he had been hiding. " I knew he was there," said P'Earth smiling.

"Now that we've got the little boy asleep and resting, how about the big boy tell me what's bothering him, " said Earth. "He doesn't want me back," said Khaotung. " This calls for extra strong coffee," commented Earth and proceeded to set the cups, the coffee and milk. "Now talk!" said Earth.

" I told him Tay was his son. He didn't believe me. When Maize asked me to care for her son I had no idea where it would all lead to. Tay was only one month old then. I couldn't leave him. He needed me. Not only was I his only living relative but also the only one who shared his blood type. Who knew that Maize and my mother were estranged sisters. What a twist. Maize's last wish was for me and First to adopt and raise Tay as our own. I filed the adoption papers with both me and First listed as his fathers. At the last minute I opted not to tell First, I couldn't force fatherhood on him, leave alone a child with such a complicated family history. I couldn't let him reject Tay. I couldn't let him reject me, so I chose the cowardly way. I said nothing about Tay. Now I regret my decisions. If I told him back then would he have wanted to raise Tay with me? What do I do now P'Earth? " Khaotung sighed and laid his head across his arms resting on the table.

"There is certainly no right or wrong answer Khaotung. You need to make a decision for both you and Tay, but ask yourself this, do you need First because you need help with your son or do you need First because you love him? Don't answer me. Think on it. Make good choices son. I have faith in you " said Earth in a warm fatherly tone.

After Earth left Khaotung made a light dinner for himself and Tay. He did his nightly chores and stood daydreaming how it would be if himself, Tay and First were a family. Khaotung already knew he would have no love other than First and that First would be the best father, but would he want Tay and Khaotung as his family?

The only way to know would be to ask him. Khaotung would have to pursue First until he gave in. It'll take time but he wouldn't give up, for himself and for Tay. They both needed First.

The next morning Khaotung left instructions for the running of his coffee shop, left word with Earth regarding his plans, packed a bag for himself and Tay, called P'Earth and headed for the airport.

"Good luck son, go get your man ! " was the most encouraging words P'Earth said to Khaotung.