what are we? ~ Jordan Riki

'5'

"I know he's mine."

Amaia's expression shifted, her eyes hardening for a split second before softening again. She glanced down at Kahu, her fingers brushing through his soft hair as if seeking comfort in the simple, innocent motion. 

"I thought we already settled that." she said quietly, her voice tinged with a mix of anger and something deeper—maybe hurt, maybe guilt..?

Jordan's heart twisted. "We never really talked about it, though." he replied, his tone barely above a whisper. "Not in the way we need to."

"You sounded pretty certain about NOT talking about it when you were 20 Jordan." Amaia says with a harsh tone waiting for some sort of mature answer 

He stepped closer, his gaze not leaving hers. "I want to be in his life. I know I've made mistakes, but I—" He paused, struggling for the right words. "I want to be there for him, Amaia. For both of you."

Her jaw tightened, and for a moment, she said nothing. The silence between them grew thick, almost unbearable. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she sighed and shifted Kahu again, careful not to wake him.

 "Jordan." she began, her voice quiet but firm. "you can't just decide you want to be a part of his life now. It's not that simple. It never has been." 

Amaia says it's clear she's frustrated, I mean you can't blame her..

Jordan swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words. "I know it's not. But he doesn't deserve to have to grow up without a father especially since I know I'd be leaving the two of you."

She met his eyes, her expression unreadable. "You've had plenty of time to figure it out. But instead you fucked around Jordan. Just forget it."

Jordan flinched, her words cutting deeper than he anticipated, he groans "I'm not asking you to forget what happened. I'm just asking for a chance. A real chance to make things right."

Amaia exhaled slowly, her gaze softening again as she looked down at Kahu, her fingers tracing his cheek. 

"I don't know if you understand what you're asking for, Jordan. It's not just about you and me anymore. It's about him. Kahu deserves consistency, stability... and I've been doing this on my own. I've kept him safe from everything that could hurt him, and that includes you."

Jordan felt the weight of her words settle deep in his chest, the truth of them sinking into his bones. He'd never fully understood what it meant to raise a child on his own—especially one you weren't ready for.

 But as Amaia's words hung in the air, he couldn't deny the depth of the responsibility she carried, the strength it took for her to do it all alone.

"I know." he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was young, fresh 20 year old I was stupid." He paused, running a hand through his hair, frustration flickering across his face.

 "But I do want to be a part of it. I don't expect you to just let me in, or to forgive me for everything that's happened, but... I can't stand the thought of being a stranger to him."

Amaia's gaze softened, just a fraction, but there was still a wall between them, built up from months and years of silence, regret, and fear. She took a slow breath, her eyes flicking to Kahu, her fingers brushing gently through his hair.