His Lucky Shot

Rehearsals.

°Ivy 🌿

"I didn't do anything, I was out getting her gifts, I swear." I cried to my mom who kept on blaming me for Sage's death.

"No! You killed my daughter! Why couldn't you be the one to kill yourself?" She screams at me, her words twisting in my heart like a knife.

I know I wasn't the reason Sage did it and she won't force it into my head because she knows she was the problem but it still hurts, she's supposed to be my mom.

"Just go to your room, I don't want to see your face." She waves of and I don't hesitate before running back up to my room.

I immediately run to my vanity drawers where her second letter was, and where my first vape was.

I took multiple pulls as I kept on reading the last few words of the letter.

'I'm really sorry, I know this was selfish but I'm not as strong as you, which also isn't an excuse but my mental health has completely evaporated at this point, I hope she'll go easier on you from now on. I love you.'

Once again, I found myself uncontrollably crying. I failed her, I couldn't be strong enough for the both of us while she was still alive.

My mom was equally hard on the both of us, she destroyed the both of us equally.

Sage was just the sensitive one, she had a heard of gold and showed kindness to everyone, even when they didn't deserve it, like mom for example.

She started her shit when we were six, beating us up for no reason and telling us shit that we didn't need to hear.

We were bullied for about 8 years of our life and she knew it but she kept on blaming it on us telling us that maybe I'd we were pretty enough we wouldn't be bullied. At 13 the bullying stopped but she didn't, she'd encourage us to kill ourselves every time we'd try to open up about our mental health.

And she wasn't joking or anything, she was dead serious. When she fisrt told me she wished that she would've aborted us I thought she was joking. I was 7.

I realized she wasn't joking when I was 13, because I realized that she said it once and never again.

I remember this one time when we were 12, Sage had added too much coffee in her coffee and she was drowsy, she kept on saying she felt like she was going to die and mom just said she should die later on in life she doesn't want her funeral to be arranged and paid for by her otherwise she didn't mind sage dying at all, Sage cried and when I told her it wasn't funny she told that Sage was overreacting.

Now she acts like she wasn't the sole contributer to Sage's death.

Now she's the victim.

My breathing got worse as I remembered all of the bad things mom had said to Sage that she  had told me about. It should've been me, I would've taken it any day for her.

"Holy shit Ivy wake up!" Dantes frantic voice jolts me awake.

My blurred vision danced across the room as I felt the tears freely run down my face.

Soon enough I realised that I was crying so I quickly wiped the tears away and forced myself to stop crying.

Dante was just staring at me in concern. Is it bad that I already trust him enough to tell him about it.

I just want to get it off my chest, Only my mom and I know the truth about what happened to Sage, she lied to everyone and told them she was hit by a car.