Alive || 86: Eighty-Six [ vers. ENG ]

on the last day on earth

Sometimes, things too close to us become hard to notice. And often it's when we lose that thing that we realize how precious it was to us. It might also happen miraculously that we realize its value just before it's stolen from us. In this rare case, what would you do? Would you try to fight for it? But if time was running out, what would you choose? Would you let regrets pile up on your heart in your last moments on earth? Or will you try to get rid of them and lighten your load?

It was the last night before the confrontation with the morpho. The night sky was painted with millions of stars. Some were brighter than others. From a book Charlize had read long ago, she could guess that one of them was a well-known constellation. However, she couldn't tell which one.

As president of the Earth's insomniacs and enemies of sleep, Charlize didn't usually sleep for long. In fact, it had been years since she'd had a full night sleep. As a result, the night shifts didn't take away any of her strength for the next day. She was no less tired than usual. However, even if it wasn't the first time she'd had to stay awake to keep an eye on the surroundings, staying alone for hours had its drawbacks.

For instance, there was no noise apart from the breathing of her friends asleep a little further away. Of course, there were also the sounds of the night, such as the beating of insect wings or the sound of an animal creeping through tall grass or bushes.

But if there was one thing she hated, it was being left alone with herself. With that part she'd rather keep buried far away. Her interior voice refused to be silenced. She thought back to words, actions and memories from years ago. She never forgot any. She remembered all of them. The names of the people she had met and the places she had been. How they met and parted. The laughter and tears she'd shed. All those memories were still there. Too close to her heart. So close that the voice in her head that kept tormenting her was much louder under these conditions. She knew that if she paid attention to it, her heart would become heavier. She would let herself think things that would ultimately hurt her.

So as not to lose this mental battle, she tried to think of something else. She needed to push all the little memories away, but not too far from her breath so that she could keep an eye on them.

If today was indeed her last day on earth, what would she want to do? Who would she want to spend her last moments with?

The answer was simple enough. It was so obvious that she tried to repress it.

I want to see them. Mother. Father.

She was once again thinking about things she shouldn't.

Not from those horrible memories. But with their real smiling faces.

I want to hear them call my name.

Just once. Just once.

I want to be held in their arms.