Echoes of the Alley

37 - A Moment of Weakness

When Jisung finally returned to the studio, his face pale, the group was in the middle of setting up for the next round of rehearsal. His heart pounded in his chest, every step feeling heavier than the last. His mind was still clouded with the panic from earlier, but he forced himself to move forward. He couldn't let them see how much he was struggling.

Felix noticed him first. He had been watching Jisung's every move, knowing something was wrong. "Jisung," Felix called softly, catching his arm. "Hey, are you alright?"

Jisung shook his head, trying to keep his composure, but the tightness in his chest only worsened. "I'm fine," he lied, though his voice trembled. His hands felt cold as he reached for his guitar again, but he couldn't quite focus on it.

Minho turned from where he stood, his gaze narrowing. "We don't have time for this, Jisung. Get it together."

The words hit Jisung like a punch. His breath caught in his throat, and for a brief moment, everything inside him seemed to stop. It was like everything he had been trying to hold in—his fear, his doubt, his inadequacy—finally broke through.

Jisung's chest tightened, and before he could stop himself, the panic hit again. His vision blurred, his thoughts scattered. He gasped for air, unable to find a breath, his hands shaking uncontrollably. It was all too much. The pressure, the constant need to be perfect, was suffocating him. And now, in front of the group, he was failing again.

Felix saw it immediately. "Jisung!" His voice was filled with concern, but all Jisung could hear was the rush of panic drowning out everything else.

He stumbled, his legs giving out beneath him. Felix caught him, but Jisung's mind was already spiraling too far. He couldn't breathe. His body trembled violently, and the world around him seemed to collapse in on itself.

—
The studio went silent. The music stopped. Minho stood frozen, his expression unreadable. He had never seen Jisung like this before. It was one thing to push for perfection, but seeing Jisung crumble in front of him was something entirely different.

Felix knelt down beside Jisung, trying to guide him to breathe, but Jisung was barely able to respond. His breathing was shallow, ragged. "Jisung," Felix whispered. "Look at me. Just breathe. You're okay. We've got you."

But Jisung's mind was still far away, he couldn't meet Felix's worried gaze as he got caught in the overwhelming rush of fear and self-doubt.
Seungmin, Changbin, and Chan looked on helplessly. Minho stayed in the corner, torn between his usual need for control and the realization that something had to change. This wasn't about music anymore. It wasn't about getting the song perfect. It was about understanding the people he was leading.

—
The apartment was quiet when they all returned. The usual chatter and playful teasing were absent, replaced by an uneasy silence that hung in the air. Jisung had retreated to the couch, his body still shaking from the panic attack, his mind still clouded with the feeling of helplessness. He couldn't get the images of the studio—the sharp critiques, the expectations—out of his head. Every moment replayed in his mind like a loop of failure.

Felix was the first to sit beside him. He had been quiet since they left the studio, not wanting to overwhelm Jisung with too much at once. He glanced at the others—Seungmin, Jeongin, and even Hyunjin, who had come along for the ride—and they all took their places in the living room, but no one spoke.

The tension was palpable. The room was filled with the weight of what had happened. Jisung wasn't sure how to feel. He felt like a failure, but at the same time, there was a strange sense of relief in finally letting go, even if it had come in the form of a breakdown.