trust ↯phan

Entry # 35 || chpt five

Hey journal, my Mum surprised me with bringing you to me today, which means I can finally write in you! I've missed you.

I've missed the feeling of the pen on my fingers, the blank canvas ready to be carved with my sad words. I really did.

I finally met that Dan guy, the one Louise would always talk about. And let me tell you, Dan is something alright. We have almost everything in common, except for a few differences such as he is a Vegan and I am not, or the way our fringes are facing the opposite direction. But I like Dan, and I hope we get to become close friends soon. He makes me smile a lot, which confuses me and will certainly get a lot of getting used to.

But once Dan left that day, I felt lonely.

It was so weird without him in the room, we got to know and spend so much time together that when he exited the ugly hospital room door, my lips twitched downwards. I just needed company.

After Dan, thankfully, Pj & Louise came in to see and talk to me, and that sort of replaced that empty void. Sort of.

But that void was filled when Dan visited the next day. And the day after that, and after that. He came to visit me everyday after school, bringing some books or cool things from his room to show me. He even brought me a DS, from which he borrowed from his little brother, and one of those evenings we played Mario Kart together. He is extremely good at it meanwhile i'm rubbish.

I remember on Friday evening, Dan insisted on reading me Paper Towns, which was very weird but cute of him to do. I was just taking his voice in, closing my eyes and opening them whenever he messed up, which of course made us crack up. And that's how we spent the whole day, him reading until the sun settled down, until I fell asleep. The next morning I woke up with the book next to me, a note on it reading;

"Hey Phil, I stopped at page 120, so just continue on reading until I get there. I suspect a good summary of what happened when I arrive. -Dan :)"

I honestly never knew staying in a hospital would be so enjoyable, I guess Dan makes this whole thing enjoyable. I would be bored out of my mind if it wasn't for him. Yeah Pj and Louise visit often, and so do the rest of my friends, which are Hannah and Troye, but it's different with Dan. I don't know why, but it is, and I like it.

But today, today i'm not feeling very well. Not health wise, I've been recovering quite remarkably, as Dr.Toro informed me two nights ago. No no, i'm sad. I'm sad because after being in here for five days, being admitted on Tuesday morning and now being Saturday, my Father has not visited me once. Not once. This upsets me so much because he isn't even being himself anymore. He hasn't even called to check up on me either. This has me so upset, i'm on the brink of tears while writing this down. I miss my Father so much..

And today is the day I go home, having to face the man I used to call Dad in fear.

I don't want to go home, I won't be able to face him, I'm too exhausted, and I will miss Dan. I hope this doesn't change anything, I hope he still comes over to my house to hang about with me.

At least my Mum agreed to letting me go to the trip with Pj. She just told me to be careful and that, of course, my Father would not know anything about the trip. She is going to tell him that I went to visit my Grandma and Grandpa for a week. That should do the trick.

Right now i'm sitting on the hospital bed that was surprisingly comfy to sleep in and waiting for Dr. Toro to give me my medication to take to the trip and tell me what I should and should not do while going there, due to my health condition. He is just concerned, but he said that I was as healthy as I could be, just sensitive.

Oh man, I really can't wait to get the hell out of the UK.