trust ↯phan

Entry # 34

Entry #34
He did it again.
I don't know why, but I know that he left my mum crying in the lounge, where the fight took place. I can hear her curses slurring into hiccupy murmurs, and someone bang onto the dining room table, it probably being my father.
He hasn't taken his medication yet today, cause he had to stay overtime at his job. I wouldn't blame him if he was irritated or pissed at that, but it's not right for him to lash it out on us. That I don't accept, but can't do anything about. I do try though.
If I did get the guts to step up and stand up for myself, for us, for the sake of this god damn family, he wouldn't have it. He would hit me anywhere his fist would land. And all I can do is take deep shaky breaths to keep myself upright. This usually happens when he doesn't take his medication, and i'm afraid that one day his anger issue will make him into something worse, something that I only see in my nightmares. I would wake up with cold sweat littering my forehead, goosebumps visible on my limbs, wide eyed and just utterly terrified. It's sending me shivers as i'm writing this. But I feel safe whenever I write in you, I can easily drown out my surroundings and distract myself with descriptive words describing how my day went.
But I have to stop writing now because if I don't i'm sure i'll get my blood on this pretty page, and I don't want to ruin you, I want to preserve you actually.
So I'll leave by saying that he..

He hurt us again.