Unravel Me

18: Midnight

   Dazai couldn't stay asleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the same thing—that look in Chuuya's eyes when he'd found him bleeding on the bathroom floor. That wasn't supposed to happen. Chuuya wasn't supposed to be the one to find him. He was never supposed to look at him like that.

   Eventually, Dazai decided it was time to give up on the idea of sleep. Tossing the covers aside, he stumbled on tired feet to the kitchen to get some water. He was surprised to find a clean glass in the first cabinet he'd opened, but didn't think too much about it as he held it under the tap until it was filled, gulping it down before going for another. He was so lost in his actions that he hadn't even noticed the stirring in his living room.

   "What's with all the fucking noise in there?" Chuuya demanded, his voice still heavy with sleep.

   Dazai jumped at the question, nearly spilling his freshly filled glass of water. He figured he wasn't alone, but he'd expected to hear Yosano's voice, not Chuuya's. He was sure he'd be ready to run after what he'd seen.

   "Sorry," Chuuya chuckled, dragging himself off of the couch and into the kitchen. "I didn't mean to scare you."

   "Please, it'd take a lot more than that to scare me."

   "I'm sure." He said, rolling his eyes. "What are you doing up? Yosano said you needed to rest."

   "Right, where is she?"

   "She went home. I told her i'd look after you."

   "How'd you get her to trust you with that?"

   "It wasn't easy. It took a lot of convincing, but I finally got her to agree. So, i'll ask again, why the fuck aren't you in bed?"

   Dazai shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. What about you?"

   "I was woken up by some scrawny giraffe crashing around the kitchen."

   "Weird. I didn't see a giraffe in here."

   Chuuya gestured to the sink. "The faucet should be clean enough for you to catch a glimpse of him."

   "Cute," Dazai huffed, his eyes following Chuuya's movement. The faucet was clean. In fact, the entire kitchen looked about as spotless as it had when he'd first moved in. "Wait, did you clean my apartment?"

   "Yeah, it kept me busy while you were out."

   Dazai felt a pang of guilt. As if he didn't already feel bad enough for ruining Chuuya's night, now he was doing chores for him? "You didn't have to do this."

   He shrugged. "It was no problem. I couldn't really sleep anyway."

   Right, that was Dazai's fault too.

   "Here, step aside," Chuuya said, rounding the island. "I'll make some tea. Chamomile should help you relax."

   Dazai watched him move around the kitchen, grabbing the kettle from the stovetop and bending over the sink to fill it with water. He looked so natural, like he belonged there just as much as the toaster did. At first, Dazai's thoughts were purely about the odd comfort he felt—this was the first time his apartment had ever really felt like home—but then his eyes traveled down the curve of Chuuya's spine, his mind drifting once again to thoughts of what he'd accidentally stumbled upon in his nightstand—and to that girl he'd seen him with. He wanted to know more about her.

   God, why the fuck did he care so much about that?

   "How are you feeling?" Chuuya asked, shutting off the tap.

   Right. This wasn't a normal night for the two of them. Chuuya wasn't still there because he wanted to be; no, he just hadn't left because he'd seen Dazai at his lowest and thought he was so weak that he'd need to be monitored now. He'd have to convince him otherwise. He didn't want to be treated that way—not by Chuuya.