ILLICIT AFFAIRS | WLW

The Alchemy

𝐀𝐍: A bit of a shorter chapter but I pray you guys like it! I didn't even proof read this properly after editing because I was SO excited to upload it <33

P.S. It's All Coming Back to Me Now is the anthem of this chapter.

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The weak winter sunlight filtered through the large lecture hall windows, casting shadows onto the wooden floors and rows of desks. It was a deceptively ordinary Wednesday morning, the middle of the final week before winter break, the kind that called for routine and predictability. Catherine, though her posture was as poised as always, felt far from anything resembling calm

Her fingers hovered over the neat stack of lecture notes before her, smoothing over the arranged papers unnecessarily. She stared at them as if they might somehow anchor her, but the words blurred together, rendered meaningless by the turmoil raging within.

This morning's lecture – Exploring Contemporary Spain – was a subject she had taught countless times before, one she could usually glide through effortlessly. Yet today, each sentence she planned to deliver felt like a battle; stiff and detached. Her mind refused to settle, her pulse denying to slow. It wasn't because of the material, or her students, but because she would be here.

Blair. 

Even the thought of her name sent a ripple of emotion through Catherine – a mixture of longing, regret, and frustration all twisting into something that grew sharper and heavier in her chest each day. The events of the weekend were still fresh in her mind, replaying on a cruel, endless loop: the barely concealed irritation in Blair's voice when she foolishly showed up at her doorstep, the closing of the door in her face, and the rejection that had gutted her.

Now, as students filed into the lecture hall, the sound of chattering and shuffling into seats filled the room. Catherine glanced up before she could stop herself, her attention drawn immediately, inevitably, to the woman who had been haunting her thoughts.

There she was, entering with the same quiet confidence she often carried, her blonde hair falling like silk over her shoulders. She wore an oversized beige jumper, hanging loosely over a pair of grey jeans that made her look effortlessly elegant, as though she hadn't spent a single second fussing over it. Catherine hated how quickly her gaze lingered on her, cataloguing every detail as if she might miss something if she didn't look long enough. 

Blair's eyes didn't even flicker in Catherine's direction as she found her seat, dropping her bag beside her with a soft thud. Her posture, as it always was, was perfect. Catherine could see her from the corner of her eye, the way her fingers moved the pen with a practised ease, her notebook already open as she prepared for the lecture to begin.

Don't look at her, Catherine silently chastised herself, tearing her gaze away. She busied her hands with her notes again, aligning them neatly for what seemed like the hundredth time.

The soft hum of the students quieted as the clock struck 9:30, signalling the start of the lecture. With one final breath, Catherine straightened her back, adjusting her glasses with a steady hand as she began speaking. Her voice was clear and even, carrying across the room with the practised authority of someone who had done this a thousand times. But beneath the surface, it was a fight to keep her nerves in check.

"Good morning, everyone." She began, forcing her gaze to look at the entire glass rather than letting it settle where it wanted to – or who it wanted to. "Today's we'll be examining identity and culture in modern Spain through the use of politics, art, and literature."

She soon fell into her usual rhythm, the lecture unfolding with the fluidity of someone deeply familiar with the material. Catherine spoke of the cultural shifts in the aftermath of Spain's transition to democracy, about the influence of writers such as Javier Marías and the work of filmmakers such as Almodóvar. To her students, she appeared as confident and composed as ever, but she was anything but.