ego death | blue lock

17.

team z had started special training for our new 'me next' strategy where we would practice formations and strategies for whoever the current forward was at the moment. i kept trying to focus on the practice but i was still rolling over in my head what i had talked about with chigiri the day before.

'i think your weapon might be.. quick reflexes? or something along those lines. it seems like it's not intentional, just something that happens at the moment.'

i guess figuring out my weapon was the easier part because how exactly am i supposed to practice this..?

i mean, i guess the only way for my weapon to work is to really focus and lock in during the game.. but i really don't know how to practice that. how i somehow managed to block barou in the last game must have been a fluke or something because i haven't been able to do it again in practice since that time.

before i quit playing, i could perform at the best of my abilities without any hesitation and restrictions in practice and in a game, but now the situation is different. i lost too much of my previous experience when i quit and now there's also a chance that i'll never be able to play football again if i can't get better.

most of the people in team z are already improving their weapons little by little yet here i am still trying to figure everything out. at this point, i'll fall behind and cause all of us in team z to get eliminated. 

i'm scared of getting kicked out. i don't want to come back home to b/n without having accomplished anything for the both of us. this time around, playing football isn't just for my enjoyment. this could become a stepping stone for me to create a better future for both me and b/n.

i can't afford to let myself fall behind.

vmm

"howdy, you lumps of talent."

mr ego appeared on the screen having his own yakisoba mukbang in front of all of us team z fatties. the biggest fatties of the team, gagamaru and naruhaya, were already drooling the moment they saw the yakisoba up on the screen.

"the sixth match just finished. here are the results and new ranking."

team w, z, and y were all tied with one win and one loss on the screen.

"oh and, i'm changing up the ranking system, which up until now, has been based on your test scores and gameplay."

finally there's some change in the rankings. my rank had been the lowest since i haven't been able to participate in the testing due to my injury. please let me get a higher ranking other than that stupid 275.

beep beep beep

when i looked at my sleeve, i was blessed to see a...

275.

dammit.

"those who scored more valuable goals will be ranked higher. so team z's current top player is yoichi isagi."

everyone's eyes shifted from the screen to isagi.

"i said that finding your weapon was the first condition to be a striker. but if you stopped after finding it, it'll be wasted. your next step is to to figure out how to best polish that weapon and make it stand out."

"talent is just a lump of ore, and if you don't smelt and polish it, it's nothing but trash."

with that, our next match was up on the screen. team w versus team z in twenty-four hours.

"we should check out the recordings of team w's matches.." naruhaya said, breaking the brief silence between all of us.

"okay, that's enough for today. let's all get ready for...."

at that point, i had stopped listening because of how pissed i was at myself. after staying here for who knows how long, i still haven't gotten any better. still last place, still doing nothing, still haven't accomplished shit since i set foot here.

just what am i missing? i could sit here and complain all day but that really wouldn't get me anywhere.

should i just practice longer? but what exactly do i even practice anyway? fuck, i don't know. maybe i can ask chigiri if he wants to practice with me.

whatever i end up doing, i just know that i won't allow myself to leave the field until i can get some kind of improvement in.

i stood up, but isagi also stood up at the same time as me. we both flinched in surprise and looked at each other.

"do you want to practice with me?"

"do you want to run with me?"

oops, we ended up talking at the same time. but i replied faster than he could.

"sure, i'll run with you. i could use better endurance." we both shared a grin after.

sure running isn't exactly the kind of practice i had in mind, but improving my speed and stamina can't hurt. if anything, any improvement in any category is better than nothing.

"what, are you guys trying to get ahead of the rest of us? if team z's number one and shrimpy are doing extra training, there's no way i can skip out on it." kunigami said, quickly catching up to us. damn that greek god physique.

"that's not fair! i wanna join, too!" bachira said, running to catch up.

"oh? guess you guys haven't realized it yet."

i looked at bachira who pointed behind us.

"team z is already starting to gather around you guys."

"there's no way i'll lose to someone like isagi!"

"me neither!"

"ah, damn. i wanted to take a bath."

"we're gonna win tomorrow!"

"damn right!"

"i'll be the best in the world!"

isagi looked behind us and then made eye contact with me.

"you won't be the only one to stand out, mr. number one." i said, grinning from ear to ear.

isagi nodded and ran faster than any of us, the rest of the team following closely behind.

but there was one person missing from the group,

chigiri.

--

12.17.24

hey guys it's been a while 😭

i lowk had writers block and i lost my motivation along with my interest in blue lock for a second but now i'm back (for now)

we'll see how long my motivation can last this time but look forward to chapter update(s) for both whiplash and this book