Chapter 18:I have to do this...

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Chapter 18:

I opened my sleepy eyes and rubbed my head. I had a huge plaster on the top right corner of my forehead. I had a throbbing headache. Looking around, I saw Travis  sleeping with his arms crossed sitting in the chair beside me.

I then remembered what happened. Oh gosh, where’s Joanna? Is she alright?

Getting out of the hospital bed I woke Travis up.

“Oh, you’re awake? Why are you out of bed?” He asked, getting up and trying to put me back onto the bed but I refused.

“Where is Joanna?” I asked.

-

I opened the door and saw Shane, a nurse and Joanna. The nurse turned to my direction and left.

I gulped and walked over to them,Joanna glanced up at me. Joanna seemed like she had just finished crying. Shane didn’t look at me. He kept his head down.

“Are you and the baby alright?”

A tear fell from her cheek and another followed. She shook her head.

I walked over to her and offered a hug. She hugged me. It’s the best I could do even if we weren’t exactly close or really anything more than colleagues.

“Thank you for telling Yoona to help me first, I’m sorry that I pulled you down with me.” She sobbed. I let go of her.

“Just take care of your body first… Don’t bother about To  apologies.” I said.

From behind, someone grabbed me by my right wrist and pulled me out the room forcefully. It was Shane.

He led me to an isolated room in the hospital and slammed the door. He was glaring at me. I had never seen this expression of his before. It sent a shiver down my spine as I looked back at him.

“I lost something special to me today because of you.” He said.

The single sentence was enough to bring tears to my eyes but I kept them in. I could’ve tried to prevent Joanna from getting hurt from the elevators or at least minimize it but I couldn’t. I also caused his brothers death. I made him lose two members of his family.

He was looking away from me.

Without knowing it, I started speaking.

“I said it before, if I ever did something to make you upset – don’t forgive me because it wouldn’t be worth it.” I said. He diverted his gaze almost immediately after I finished the sentence. I continued, “7 years ago I said it and 7 years later I’m saying it again. Don’t forgive me for my actions, please.”

My tears threatened to fall.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve regained my memories.” I said, as the tears slowly fell. I wiped them away and tried to get to the door by walking past him but he grabbed my arm. Why do they need to fall now? Why can’t I control them as well as I could before?

“Let go of me.” I said, trying to shake his arm off but he just tightened his grip but it didn’t hurt.

“No.”

“You hate me, I disgust you, and I annoy you. Leave me alone. The lies of not knowing me before, I usually wouldn’t forgive you but I don’t have the right to.”

He yanked me back and I felt his lips pressed on top of mine. I pushed him off and slapped him.

“Your fiancé is laying in the bed crying her eyes out because she just lost something so special to her, is that fair on her?”

“But I don’t love her.”

“Well start to love her, I don’t know who you love – but give her what she deserves.”

“I love you, I’ve only loved you Andrea.”

Did he just say he loved me? I looked him in the eye, trying to find lies.

“I love Tr..” He cut me off by pulling me into a tight hug.

“Please don’t say his name, please… I don’t think I can handle it. I might just lose my mind.”

I kept my arms down, but I wanted to hug him back.

-

Travis's POV

I sat down on the floor, listening to their conversation. It was quiet after Shane’s last sentence. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and let the tears come down.

I wanted Andrea to say she loved me but she wasn’t saying it.

Andrea wouldn’t leave me, she said she wouldn’t. I believe her.

Instead of burying my head in my knees, I got up and left. I didn’t want to hear the rest. I couldn’t face it, I was a coward and I knew it.

-End of POV

I pulled away from him and took a couple steps back.

“Don’t be like this… Joanna is the one for you. When I leave you guys, you’ll resume to how you were before and you’ll be in love again with her.”

“I was never in love with her, gratitude – yes, love – no. Do I need to spell it out to you? For the long 7 years I’ve thought of no one but you.”

“No you didn’t.” I said, in denial. I did believe him but I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t have the right. I was partially the reason why an unborn child died.

“You have no right to tell me who I love because you aren’t me, you won’t understand how much I missed you, you won’t understand how much you hurt me, and you definitely won’t understand how much you mean to me. When you were happy with Travis, do you have any idea what I was going through?”

My heart sank deeper and it was going to shatter any moment soon. I had to end this now no matter how cruel I was.

“Well I don’t love you, I never did. You never fought for me once, you just pitied yourself and did what you thought was best. You’re playing the character I was 7 years ago, when I was still naïve. I’m going to marry Travis, whether you like it or not.”

His tears fell, and there goes my heart – shattering.

“I love Travis. I love Travis. I love Travis.”

I tried to convince myself but I couldn’t, but he fell to the ground.

“Are you going to abandon me again?” He asked, choking the words out.

I turned around and left the room. Closing the door without looking back I stepped on something. It was a phone. It was Siwon’s phone.

Did he hear everything?

-

Shane’s POV

"I Love Travis,I Love Travis.” She said.

I fell to the ground. Andrea, why are you so horrible to me? Why can’t we be together?

“Are you going to abandon me again?” I asked, forcing the words out. Please don’t leave me again…

She turned around and left the room. Closing the door without looking back once.

“When I heard you say to Yoona that Joanna was pregnant, and indirectly told her to take care of her first – I knew that you wouldn’t have left my brother to die on his own. I’m just the dense idiot who refused to believe you even when you told me.” I said before closing my eyes. Even if she couldn’t hear it, I still wanted to say it.

Someone barged in through the room.

“Whoa! What do we have here?” It was a male voice that sounded terribly familiar. I looked up to see who it was.

“Oh my gosh, is this who I think is it? Shane?”

Gabby?

He smiled.

Yep, that was definitely the Gabriel Kim I knew before.

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