New Believers Of God

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

I was still in my room by the time Hangin' In had started, not wanting to see or speak to anyone.

I was observing my drawing, fantasizing about what it represented, like what it could have been like if Holly would have gone to Wildside. This too was the closest thing I would ever get to seeing that happen.

I meant what I had said to Shane. I honestly didn't care if I never said a word to any of those guys ever again. I felt betrayed, hurt, and alone all at the same time.

Suddenly, my phone began to ring, and I saw the call was from Hunter.

I almost didn't answer, but at the very last ring, I reluctantly gave in and picked up.

"Hello?" I said.

"Cole," he said back "Where are you?"

"I'm sorry Hunter." I told him "I'm not coming."

"Cole, come on." he told me back "You've got to. It's the last one."

"You don't understand. I just can't."

I should have known he was going to do this. But my mind was made up.

"Cole," he said "Shane told me about what happened to your friend, and I know you must have a lot of mixed feelings. I can't imagine how difficult it's been for you, that's a terrible thing for anybody to deal with. But I told you before, running away's not going to solve it. All that's going to do is make it worse."

This was the same advice that caused Holly to hate me. If I had never taken it, even if she still died, at least I wouldn't have had to live with that guilt. Of course, I knew he meant well. But at that moment, I just didn't think I could listen to him.

"Please leave me alone Hunter." I said back "I don't want to come."

"Cole," he said again "Don't push everyone else away when they're trying to help you. If they didn't care about you, they wouldn't be doing that. This is a time where you need them now more than anything. So I'm telling you right now to be here. But it's your decision. I'll leave it up to you. Goodbye."

He then hung up.

I set my phone down, and my eyes took notice to my broken necklace, still on the floor.

In a way, seeing it like that symbolized something. The Jesus piece breaking off was me giving up my belief in God. Therefore, I no longer felt he needed to be with me. At least that's what I felt initially.

I then looked up at my hoodie hanging outside my closet, and I read those words on the front.

"Hangin' In"

All this time, I thought it was nothing more than just a name. But as I continued to observe it, I came to realize something that had never crossed my mind until then. The whole meaning behind it.

Even on your toughest days, it's important to hang in there and continue trusting God no matter what, and to allow those who care about you to do it with you.

Hunter was right, I did need them. I couldn't get through this alone.

I pulled the hoodie off its hanger, threw it on, and told my parents where I wanted to go.

Upon being dropped off at the church, I walked through the empty lobby and upstairs to the loft. When I opened the door, everybody turned around and looked at me. Then, all at once, they gave me a round of applause.

"Cole Carson." said Kenneth "Welcome back."

Soon after, I ran over to the guys and embraced every one of them.

The truth is we were all affected by this situation. Seeing someone our age dying so young and unexpectedly. Even if you didn't know that person, it can still stick with you just as much.

Following that, Hunter approached me as well.

"Thanks Cole." he told me, smiling "I knew you'd make the right choice."

As the reconciliation carried on, Kenneth once again sang a familiar song.

"Lord, I need you. Oh, I need you. Every hour, I need you. My one defense. My righteousness. Oh God, how I need you."