Just a bodyguard

Are we still .. ok?

You thought my story would end there and then ..?
Hmm ...

- F : if she doesn't come back you leave without her !
- N : NEVER !

Being eighteen , nineteen , now twenty was something I couldn't stop . Who can actually huh ? .
Tho .. controlling myself was something I had to learn ..

You wonder what happened to me ?
Bad men came back for me 2 weeks after I got back to New York , they were dealt with but it triggered something wild something hot inside my chest , the pain I didn't face completely in Alaska .. all coming back .

My days were pretty much the same ..
I'd wake up at 5 am , go for a morning job with Steve
Come back , get breakfast , work out , and spend the afternoon training on other levels with Natasha .
Seeing how good I was my actions lead the eyes of Nick fury on me and how he could maybe use that for missions coming ahead , I refused at first .. but then I wondered .. why was I trained so long so roughly if I didn't use it much ? True . Bad men like I said were dealt with and now ..?? What will I do with my life now ..?

Now listen , I'm trying I AM to listen to rules and follow the plans . But right here right now underground as the rocks was falling on us I refused to get out of there until I reached the agent I was put with . Natasha was almost out maybe even gone . And I should be too .

- A : come on - I got you

I grunt my body exhausted as I help the man up and carry him out getting hit many times by obstacles but not falling not slowing down as I get us out , and what happened then ... you'll have to let Nat explain .

Natasha :

I watch as I see Amelia and the other agent come out and before I can reach them , the ground explode throwing the agents to another side of the field , making me fall as well . The unexpected surprising us all .

- N : Amelia

I groan as I get up and run to her seeing her on her belly eyes closed , her cheek bleeding as I quickly turn her on her back .

- N : I need a team ready in the labs ! Amelia's down !

She says through the com in her ear and goes to the other agent , a shiver runs down her spine seeing he was dead .

A few hours later ..

- A : hmm .. ahh

I hiss feeling things on my body as I naturally sit up

- N : hey - hey easy - down Lia

I hear Nats voice forcing my shoulders down to lay again ..

- A : Lucas

I mumble looking at Nat talking about the agent I tried to save , but suddenly I still completely seeing it in her eyes ..

- N : you can't save everyone -
- A : I could've if you didn't try to push me out minutes before I went back to him !!-
-N : that wasn't the plan !! Ok I - I'm so sick of you changing them at your liking !-
- A : he was my partner !!-
- N : and you knew damn well that' it was a dangerous move yet you ran into it ! Suicidal aren't we ??

I frown painfully as I look away feeling my eyes fill with tears , Nat grunt and walk away closing the door behind her ..

- T: hey kiddo

Tony says coming to me and squeeze my hand

- T : give her time you know how mean she can get when she's worried ..
- A : .. I know ... is the mission still approved ?
- T : fury thinks so .. working at shield is maybe not what you need right now don't you think ? How about a bit wild party ?
- A : a party ? Tony more missions comes ahead everyday -
- T : and you're twenty yet still no boyfriend no normal job -
- A : that sounds more like the Amelia I was before my whole life took a new turn ..

Guess he was right tho , I never even had my first kiss .. hours passed by and I was staring at the void wondering about it , all this time rage and training blocked my thoughts about a normal life but if we think about it .. I had that before it was taken away .. ready on a platter ... maybe .. maybe I could re cook a new .. normal life and now serve it to myself .. you see what I mean ? If that even make sense ..

- W : uno

I grunt being in the living room now on the floor playing with Wanda and losing like always

- W : and done

She add another card and I roll my eyes at her head tilt

- W : awn darling , it's not because Nat lets you win that I will you'll have to deal with it
- A : you're very VERY mean today on another level
- W : hmm

She smirks as I shake my head and put more cards on the table but I tense feeling hands squeezing my shoulders

- N : come with me

Nat .. with who I didn't talk with since I woke up , I look at her and right away obey and follow .

- N : shoes on -
- A : it's 9 pm , what's in your mind ?
- N : let's just go on a drive yeah ?

I hide a smile as I get ready , a drive with Nat at a time like that was full speed windows open and us screaming songs to relax , it's something she'd make me do whenever we'd get into an argument .
So here we were screaming and driving at full speed but feeling awfully safe with her , I look at her after an hour and stay very very quiet just watching her .

- N : like what you see ?

She teases as I roll my eyes at her

- A : ... I'm - I just need you to know ... I wasn't suicidal back there ... I wasn't trying to get myself killed Tasha ..
N : it's not really the vibe you gave ..
- A : I'm sorry ... but I can't .. you know I couldn't leave like that -
N : I know .. yeah * she sigh looking at me then the road driving slow now * you cared for him .. Lucas
A : he was fun ..
N : there's more -
A : I barely knew the guy

I simply say looking away and it's true , but I don't know she's right for a moment I thought he ... whatever ... he's dead now anyway and I'm ... I don't know ..

I guess I'm here now , and I'm gonna figure out a new way of coping .. whether Nat likes it or not.. I gotta try and be ... Normal again .