THE JOURNEY HOME

CHAPTER 18: AWAKE

The ability bestowed upon Benjamin was humbling. The first realization he had from gaining such an immense amount of power was how weak he had been before. He had been told severally that he was weak but only now did the realize just how true those remarks were.

When his ability as a portal maker first manifested, he was branded a prodigy. One who could transverse space with ease. He was young when he discovered his power, so when he couldn't do all portal makers could do, no one thought it odd.

'He is still young', they said, 'He will grow and so will his power' Benjamin on his part didn't question their assertation. All his young life, he was an acknowledged genius. But then, they moved. Benjamin's father had him make a portal into another realm but his mother stayed behind. He didn't get to choose to stay with her and the former realm, his former home, was lost to him forever. Benjamin never fully forgave his father this wrong.

The new realm they went into was a realm of war and warriors and Benjamin never quite felt at home there. In this new realm, the children were trained from youth to become warriors and Benjamin, the young genius quickly became branded as a dolt. Benjamin was instructed by his father to conceal his ability. Mr. Arthur also hid his, he claimed instead to have the ability of wiping memories, thinking that this would help him keep a low profile. But even his reduced ability was considered a threat to his new neighbours. He was monitored closely and trusted by none.

Benjamin could feel it too, the distrust. He too was watched and marked an outsider. It was not uncommon for the abilities of faeries to materialize only when they were older, in young adulthood, so his inability to use his abilities wasn't viewed with suspicion. Benjamin was however still viewed as an exception because among faeries, an individual's ability could be checked although it hadn't manifested. His instructors tried several times to check his ability but always drew up a blank. Arthur's ability, block prevented them from seeing a thing.

Only two conclusions can be drawn when a faerie's ability is hidden, either his ability was so weak that it could not be detected or he had none. Since abilities were inherited, the fact that his father had one proved that he must have one as well, therefore he was rebranded as the unfortunate untalented outsider.

Benjamin was too young to understand that this was because of his father, as such, he began to psychologically limit himself to what those people thought about him. This led to a riddling inferiority complex resulting in Benjamin always trying to prove himself, he couldn't consolidate the experience he had earlier in his childhood with the experiences he was having now and he missed his mother more than he had ever done.

Benjamin's mother never pressured him about his ability, she never told him that she expected much from him. She saw him the way only a mother could, not as a genius or a prodigy but as her son. Benjamin felt his father only saw him as a weapon, a tool to be used in accomplishing something. But Benjamin had no idea what the goal his father so desired was.

In time, Benjamin adjusted to the new location, and made a friend. Another newcomer, just like him, whose ability had never materialized. Scott was usually dead last, unable to beat even Benjamin who followed immediately after. His weakness led Benjamin to develop new strength to protect him. In combat, Benjamin would usually cover for him and even go so far as to sacrifice himself to ensure Scott passed.

The instructors were displeased with this behaviour as it would limit Scott's growth, causing him to depend on Benjamin. They foresaw that allowing their friendship to develop may cause Scott to become useless in real battle. In order to avoid this, they separated them and on some occasions, pitted them against each other in combat.

After one such occasion, on a snowy day, Scott asked Benjamin to dissolve the friendship.

'Our friendship cannot continue. It is causing you nothing but trouble' Scott had tried to persuade him but Benjamin shrugged off his concerns.

'It's not just bad for you. It's also bad for me. What will I do in combat? There's no way I can survive. Let's face it, I'm deadweight. I'll be dead before the battle even begins and you will be too if you keep this up' Scott tried to say nonchalantly as though the thought of his death didn't scare him. In reality, it did. Since the rumour that a war with the blue portal lord was imminent started spreading, Scott had gone nights without sleep.

'Scott, I don't know what you're so afraid of, I'll protect you, like I always have.' Benjamin replied, without a trace of fear in his words.

'How?' Scott asked, his fear rising. 'We're both powerless Benjamin. How do you want to fight a portal master?' Scott's voice was shaking.

Benjamin turned in shock, he had never seen his friend like this. Scott was the flippant type, the concept of weightier matters such as pride and honour had no hold on him so Benjamin had assumed that fear would also elude his jolly friend. But here he was, so crippled with fear that his voice shook and his merry eyes bore a grave look.

'Benjamin, promise me that in battle, you will look after yourself and yourself alone. I will not let my incompetence be responsible for your death as well as mine.' Scott said gravely. His chin set.

Benjamin searched the grim facial expression of his now unrecognizable friend, then laughed.

'I didn't know you could make such a face' He said, ignoring his friend's demand.

'Benjamin!' Scott interjected angrily.

'Scott, there's no need to worry. I know you think I'm just some powerless sod who can barely protect himself much less another but I'm not. I am actually capable of handling combat, I assure you.' Benjamin replied.

'What do you mean?' Scott asked. Benjamin turned to him and in that moment, made a decision that would forever alter the course of his life.