I Think I Like Him

33. Solemnity, Hurt, & Maybe Even Bravery?

A/N - I edited the last chapter because I forgot that Ron finds Scabbers at Hagrid's hut. No need to reread if you've read it already, but just know that Ron has Scabbers back now!
And just to let you know - I have been using a blended version of the books and films as reference for the PoA plot, but now it will be more film-dominated, just because that version is more simplified and easier to work into the background of a fic :)

T/W- mentions of child abuse/neglect.

Word Count: 2194

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Draco felt sick. Not the throwing-up type. More the claw-your-own-eyes-out type. It was not a good feeling.

"What's wrong, Draco?" Pansy said, at his side. "You look unwell."

They were in the common room, and Draco hadn't said a word since Hagrid's. Not to Crabb, Goyle, Blaise or Theo. But he doubted he'd be able to keep up that streak with Pansy, as much as he didn't feel like speaking.

"Oh, Draco. Don't do that again. Has something happened?" When he didn't reply, she continued. "You told me last time that you had something on your mind, but never told me what it was. Is it the same thing now, Draco?" He didn't answer. "Draco?"

He sighed. There were lots of reasons why he had decided not to tell anyone about Harry. But now that it was completely finished between them, as Harry had made doubtlessly clear - what was the point?

"Okay," he said, lowly. Pansy immediately straightened, hands folding on her knees as she watched him in a pleased kind of surprise.

"It's... Potter."

"Why am I not surprised." She said, "What has he done this time? Breathed too loudly?"

Draco looked around - making sure there was no one within earshot - before, "No, Pansy. I - we -" he took a breath, "Do you remember when I stole his Journal?"

She snorted, "How could I forget about Potters diary?"

"Yes. Well. I gave it back to him when I got up to first year. It was... eye-opening, I suppose. He had it bad, Pansy. Like really, properly, bad. They hurt him. Frequently."

She frowned, all humour gone from her eyes. "Oh. That's... not what I would've expected."

Draco furrowed his brows and dropped his gaze to the ground. This was harder to talk about than he had expected. "Neither. That's why I stopped his fall during the Hufflepuff game. I don't know. I just couldn't see him the same."

"Okay, but... I still don't understand." She reached out to brush her fingers against his shoulder. It felt odd to be so serious with her - but he was glad that she understood the weight of what he was telling her.

"Well. Long story short, McGonagall told me to help look after him in the hospital ward."

She blinked, "Is that why you kept disappearing?"

"Yes."

"So what's happened now?"

He glanced around, once again, before turning and speaking in almost a whisper, "When he was in the hospital ward, we decided on a truce. Which... turned into friendship, which... turned into more than that."

Pansy gaped, leaning back to fully regard him, "More, as in?"

"Yes. And that's what it's been since Christmas." It was simultaneously a relief and a solemnity to tell her all of this. He had pictured it much brighter. Harry next to him. Holding his hand. Brushing raven curls away from ebbing Iris's. Everyone would be smiling. A good, happy day.